the simple things

Yesterday I cleaned out my fridge. Not my favorite thing to do, but way overdue to be done. Yuck. As I was cleaning I realized just how happy my clean fridge makes me. Not the cleaning part itself, but that sense of satisfaction when it’s done. Plus the happy feeling I get every time I open the fridge and see clean shelves, fresh food, and organization (Yes, I organize the food in my fridge.).

Even though it will only last a few days before some leftovers get pushed to the back and start to rot, something sticky gets all over the shelf and Tate’s breastmilk leaks all over the place, for those few days I’m a happy woman when I open my regrigerator door. It made me realize that sometimes it is just the simplest things that make us happy.




Like having 2 beautiful, healthy little boys to love:

Happy.

For Hudson, it’s even simpler: some unusual January sunshine, the hose and a little mud…..

Happy little man.


For Tate, even simpler – momma's arms and his paci –

happy boy.

What makes you happy today?



I'm linking up to:

audiology

Tate had his follow up appointment with the audiologist Wednesday since he didn’t pass his hearing test in his right ear in the NICU. Unfortunately, Tate failed this second test as well. His left ear has passed the test both times so it’s only the right side that is causing concern.


For the first 6 weeks of his life, until he was able to lift his head, Tate only laid on his right ear. The ear itself was always curled up under his head. As he started moving his head from side to side that got better, but the ear is still a little “deformed” from laying on it so much. It looks different than his left side but I think it’s because the right side curls up and doesn’t lay flat. His pediatrician said it could still form more cartilage and start lying flatter but it might not. (I actually tried taping it down the other day, but the tape didn’t stick very long.) So I’ve always been a little concerned about that ear, especially after he didn’t pass the hearing test in it. He still prefers to always have the right side of his head down when he sleeps and has a limited range of motion to that side as well, which is something we are going to start in looking at things to look a certain direction, he just prefers to have his head turned that way. So unless I physically turn it to the left, he always lays on the right.

The test that he failed, otoacoustic emission (OAE), he has to be very quiet and still for. Tate was asleep but he was still grunting and breathing loud, so she was never able to complete the test. (She did his left side first and he was still sound asleep, but by the time she got to the right ear he was stirring around.) She was also having a hard time keeping the probe in his ear and she kept commenting that he has a very small, narrow ear canal. Since she was having so much trouble running the OAE she decided to run a different test instead. This test is called a tympanogram and it measures how much the ear drum is moving. As she started the test she said “what we want to see here is a peak…and his is totally flat.” Not what we wanted to hear.

It could still just be that he has fluid in his ear, or congestion, that is not allowing his ear drum to move, which in turn, is causing him to fail the OAE test. At this point we are waiting 6 more weeks and then will take him back to do the tests again. Hopefully in 6 weeks his ears will have grown and if there is fluid or congestion, that will drain or clear up and he will pass the test with no problems. If he doesn’t pass the test, the next step will be to do an auditory brainstem response test (ABR). In this test they hook up electrodes on his head and headphones on his ears. Then they test his brains’ response to the sounds to see if (or what) he’s hearing.

I started googling all this stuff as soon as I got home and reading about the tests made me remember that Tate had passed a different hearing test in both ears and then had failed the OAE in his right ear while in the NICU. I went digging through his discharge papers but the only thing I could find was something called a Mini BAER test. I googled this and every article I found was about dog hearing tests. Still haven’t figured that out. So I just called the audiologist back and asked her. She looked it up and said they had also done an ABR screening on Tate and he had passed in both ears. She then said “what that says to me is that it probably is just fluid since he passed the ABR.”. Made me feel better. She said if it is just fluid, the typical treatment for that is to put a tube in his ear, which they don’t do till he’s around 1 year old, and by then it’s possible the fluid won’t be an issue anymore. But she did say the ABR screening they did in the NICU was just a screening, not the full blown test. The actual test would have more tones and pitches so it’s possible there are some tones and pitches he isn’t hearing, which would cause him to fail the OAE test, but still pass the ABR screening. So it’s all really just wait (pray) and see what happens in 6 weeks.

cautiously optimistic

That's how I'm kind of feeling today.  Hudson is definitely on the mend.  He's outside right now playing in the sunshine.  We've started letting him eat a little more variety of foods today as well.  Only concern with him at this point is that he hasn't had a bm since the nasty, painful one Tuesday afternoon.  We're worried what the next one will be like.

Tate, on the other hand, we just can't decide.  Thankfully, he hasn't gotten any worse than he was 2 nights ago, but he's still dealing with a lot of stomach stuff.  His tummy is just rumbling and he's in some pain.  His temperature got up to 99.6 today - that's the highest it's been.  We haven't taken him in to the doctor yet. We called and spoke to the nurse yesterday and she said not to bring him in unless the temp got to be over 100 or he wasn't eating well.  We did, per her instructions, start giving him half breastmilk/half pedialyte in his bottles.  That is to replace what he was losing with the diarrhea and also because the pedialyte is easier to digest, so it would be gentler on his upset tummy.  But she said to only do it for a day so we are weaning him off of it now - using less in each bottle.  And his tummy seems more upset now than it was this morning...Since it digests faster, he's been eating more often.  And he has not  been sleeping well.  He's probably only slept maybe 2 hours today total - and at least half of that has been in my arms. 

Jamie and I seem to have kept this one at bay (knock on wood).  Hopefully there aren't any more germs lurking in our house.  Don't know how there could be with all the clorox and hand sanitizer we have used!  Jamie has done at least 15 loads of laundry this week - between washing blankets, towels, clothes that have been thrown up on and all of Tate's laundry.  That's got to be more laundry than he's done in the whole 10.5 years we have been married! 

We kept Hudson downstairs and Tate in his room and one of us was with each of them.  Jamie and I would switch off after half a day or so.  I find it interesting that it seemed like Hudson would always get sick within 5 minutes of Jamie taking over for me.  So he got thrown up (and pooped) on a lot more than I did this time around. I usually had Tate at night and Jamie slept downstairs with Hudson.  A few nights ago we switched and Jamie took Tate.  He didn't like it cause he had to get up every few hours but I didn't like it either cause I ended up not holding (and hardly seeing) Tate for almost 18 hours straight.  I thought he looked bigger once I got to hold him again!  

Why us?

Is this ever going to end?  Now it's Tate we're worried about.  So far it's not a full blown anything, but he's starting to show some signs.  Please, God, no.  Tate didn't sleep well this afternoon and has had watery - more than usual- stools.  His stomach has gurgled all afternoon too.  The highest temp he's had has been 99.4 - but I've gotten 2 normal ones since then...he's still urinating fine (and all over me everytime I change him!) and is actually eating more (up to 70 mls today) and more often this afternoon.  So we don't know for sure.  The eating and urinating are good things.  The watery and more frequent stools is not, but it's hard to tell with a newborn...So I'm settling in for a long night of probably holding him all night -or at least checking on him a lot more often- just in case.  He has been crying a lot more - but that seems to be because he's hungrier than usual.  The food calms him down anyways.  But occasionally he gives out what sounds like a pain scream.  I thought he was going to vomit a little bit ago.  He gagged but after I sat him up and took his paci out and patted his back, he burped.  So maybe that's all it was.  Maybe I am just making way too much of every little thing.  But can you blame me after what we've been through?  We will wait and see. 

Thankfully, Hudson is doing much better this evening.  He started drinking and urinating yesterday after the suppository we gave him (Now, that's an experience I hope we don't have to do it again.  We've given him 4-5 now and it's awful each time.).  So we didn't have to take him to the ER.  In fact, he was begging for food yesterday evening and we wouldn't let him eat much.  Today he did great till about 4 pm, and then started complaining about his stomach again.  This time it was coming out the other end again and it was painful.  But he finally did it.  So I'm hoping that was the last of his bug. 

Funny story:  This afternoon my mom came over to help me with Hudson.  She stayed downstairs with him all afternoon while I was up with Tate most of the time.  (We have pretty much kept Hudson quarantined downstairs and Tate in isolation in his room.)  Hudson was asking Gigi for something to eat...
Hudson: "can I have cheerios?"
Gigi: "I'll ask your mom what you can have to eat."
Hudson: "If she says toast or water we have to trick her."
He's definitely feeling better!

I am ready for all this to be over.  We've gone through at least 4 rolls of paper towels, 3 bottles of antibacterial handsoap, 2 tubes of Clorox wipes and lots of hand sanitizer.  You just have to see our hands if you want proof.  We have washed them raw.  They were bad while Tate was in the NICU from washing our hands all the time there but this is a lot worse.  Hand lotion helps, but since "lotion is for chicks", Jamie's are pretty bad.  Hand sanitizer just burns really bad at this point.
  

Thankfully I seem to have fought it off - but Jamie's not felt the greatest today.  If he gets worse it will make things even more interesting around here.  In the midst of all of this we had two other crazy things happen on Friday night.  I was giving Hudosn his bath and when I went to turn the water off the faucet handle snapped and broke off - with the water still running.  Jamie ended up having toturn the hot water off so that it was just trickling into the tub.  So we went all night without hot water.  Only issue with tha was washing our hands was really cold and we had to warm up the water in the microwave to use to warm up Tate's bottles.  Wasn't so bad.  Then Saturday they had to turn the water completely off for awhile to work on it.  (Really bad when you have a sick kid and are as obsessed as I am with washing your hands...)But then, of course, it turned out the part we needed to fix it had to be ordered and won't be in till next Tuesday...but they were able to fix it for now so that we have running water - and hot water- again.

About an hour after that happened, I had Tate in the bassinet beside our bed.  Jamie was downstairs with Hudson.  I had the lights off and was pumping and had the laptop on my lap.  Tate started fussing and next thing I hear a crash.  His bassinet broke!  I'm fumbling around getting the pump off, throwing the laptop off, turning the lights on.  Tate's not crying anymore so I don't know what that means...The bassinet had come off the stand on one end and that end was down on the ground while the other end was still up in the stand.  Tate's head was on the end towards the ground.  But he was just lying there looking around.  I think it shocked him.  I picked him up and laid him on the bed ot check him out.  He never made a sound, his eyes were huge and his lips were in a big 'O'.  But other than a little scared, he was fine.  So we aren't using the bassinet anymore and Tate has moved into his crib in his room.  A little earlier than I had planned.  I'd still rather have him beside me so I can check on him easier at night, but I'm not putting him back in that bassinet!

So that's where we are at right now.  Thankfully Tate has been asleep for almost 2 hours straight now.  That's the most since early this afternoon.  Praying he sleeps well, eats well and we're worrying about nothing.

ugh

That’s how our second week has gone. Not as good as the first week by far. But thankfully not because of Tate – he’s still doing good.


This is definitely the sickest Hudson has ever been in his life. It started Thursday morning and it’s still going today. He was better on Saturday – no fever, no throwing up – so we thought it was over. I deep cleaned and sanitized the entire house. Then he started throwing up again Sunday afternoon and hasn’t’ stopped. At this point he can’t even keep a sip of water down. We just got back from the doctor, he’s sleeping right now. If he doesn’t start doing better in the next few hours with the meds he got, we have to take him to the ER tonight. Hopefully they can just give him IV fluids there, but he might end up being admitted. This is not what we need right now.

Please continue to pray for both of my little men. That Hudson will start doing better ASAP and that Tate will not get this yucky stuff.

Look how much he's grown!

Good news, bad news

We took Tate to the doctor this morning for his circumcision and a weight check.  He weighs 7 pounds, 6 ounces!  So he's gained 11 ounces since last Wednesday.  Yeah.  Doing good on the weight gain.  The pediatrician was really pleased with how well he's gaining.  Tate's circumcision went just fine as well.  He cried when the doctor numbed him up but then quickly fell asleep and slept through the rest of the procedure.  And yes, we watched it.  I have no idea how he slept through that.  Poor guy!  But I had fed him right before we went and as soon as we put the pacifier in, with a little sugar water too, he fell right asleep.  Didn't cry till we unstrapped him and picked him back up off the table.

So we were feeling really good about everything till 5 minutes after we get home.  Then Hudson starts throwing up.  Then he has diarrhea.  Then he throws up again....and that's how our day has gone.  Mimi was here with him while we went to the doctor and she stayed for awhile and got thrown up on several times.  But it was good she was here cause Jamie finally went back to Rotary today.  He hasn't been since the week before Tate was born.  And he's the President this year so it was kind of important to get back into it.     

Hudson's fever is up to 103.5 but we did finally get him to take some medicine, so hopefully we'll get that down.  And hopefully the medicine, and everything else, stays down.  He finally fell asleep so maybe he'll be feeling better when he wakes up.  Hopefully this is a quick little bug. 

I am, of course, totally freaking out about Tate.  We are disinfecting everything and washing our hands even more than before.  Wearing rubber gloves when we take care of Tate.  Plus we are trying to limit it to me taking care of Hudson and Jamie take care of Tate, but both of us have already been thrown up  - and pooped - on, so hopefully we didn't already pass germs on to Tate. 

Hudson has only left the house 2 times in as many weeks and yet he still caught something.  I am sure you know what that means....we are going to have to tighten up the rules yet again.  I guess we won't be leaving the house at all for awhile...I was just starting to feel better about letting Hudson go do a few things...guess not. 

Please pray for us over the next 24 hours or so that Hudson gets better and that Tate (or Jamie and I) don't catch it. And for the next few months as well...  

2 months

At Tate's 2 month checkup he weighed 6 pounds, 11 ounces, was 19 inches long and his head is 13 3/4 inches.  This puts him in the 0% for everything but according to his adjusted age it's the 25th percentile for his length, between 10% and 25% for his weight and 25%-50% for his head circumference.  So he's like his brother - he has a big head!   Tate is 4 ounces lighter and the exact same length as what Hudson weighed when he was born.  So he's on track for his adjusted age though still on the small side.

Tate is starting to realize he's hungry and wake up every 3-4 hours, rather than us having to wake him up every time.  The only time he fusses is when he is trying to poop.  He gets pretty worked up trying to get it out but when he does, everyone in the vicinity hears it! He's a good sleeper (so far anyways!). He sleeps through Hudson running around and yelling and the vaccuum cleaner too.  (Hudson couldn't sleep through a pin falling on the carpet in the next room when he was this young!)

Tate looks more and more like Hudson did when he was a baby everyday.  The more weight he puts on the more I see the resemblance.  His eyes are still more blue than gray at this point.  We'll see if they stay that way or not.  Hudson's turned a dark gray pretty quickly before changing to brown.

Tate wasn't real wild about getting his tie picture taken this month!

it kind of fits!  look how much he's grown!

        

             

Our First Week Home

Our first week home with Tate has gone fast - and been wonderful! Tate is an easy baby (so far!). All he does is sleep, eat and poop. I had forgotten how much dirty laundry a newborn makes.


We took Tate in for his first doctor appointment on Wednesday. He weighed 6 pounds 11 ounces! That’s a 7 ounce gain from Saturday night at the hospital. (It’s probably not entirely accurate since it was a different scale but still a gain nonetheless.) He is in the 0 percentile for his height, weight and head circumference, but about the 25th percentile for his adjusted age (Now that his actual due date has passed it is now termed ‘adjusted age’ instead of ‘gestational age’.). He is scheduled to go back on Thursday for his circumcision and another weight check. Then we have his follow up hearing screening next Wednesday.

Tate has outgrown a few of his preemie outfits and is now wearing some newborn outfits. The newborn onesies fit him well but the sleepers are still too big. I thought I’d have him in the bassinet in our room all the time but I’ve found it’s easier to have him in his crib during the day and just use the bassinet at night. I feel a little safer having him in the crib during the day, just in case Hudson decides to ‘check’ on him without my knowing. But I still like having him right beside me at night.

We still have Tate on the 3 hour schedule. Occasionally we let him go 4 hours when we can tell he’s really tired, but not more than once a day otherwise he doesn’t get all 8 feedings in. We were worried Saturday night when he didn’t finish 2 bottles in a row (only took about 40 mls out of 60). He was really tired and we couldn’t get him to wake up to finish. But we had held him a lot more Saturday than we had the rest of the week. So now we have a better idea of what’s too much. He slept all day Sunday. We’d wake him up to eat and then put him right back down. We’re being more careful about it but it’s hard not to hold him more. I keep having worries about those studies you see where the babies don’t thrive because they’re never held. I feel bad not holding him but know it’s better for him at this point.

Tate is starting to hold his head up. When I have him lying on my chest he’ll lift his head up and turn it from side to side and look all around. During the short periods he is awake, he has started looking at the lights, blinds, crib slats and the frames on his wall. It’s so cute to see him with his eyes open (finally!). His little eyes open wide and he rounds his lips and looks all around like he’s in awe of whatever he is seeing. Which I guess he probably is since it’s all new to him!

Hudson is a great big brother. He has adjusted really well to having Tate home. Part of that, I think, is that he is happy we aren’t leaving all the time anymore and spending so much time all together. So that has helped the transition. In the past few weeks he has become much more physical (wrestling, hitting, pinching, etc.) and that seems to have gotten a little worse this week. But it’s hard to tell. He also has a new fascination with throwing things in the toilet. That’s getting pretty annoying. He’s lost a lot of balls and toys this week after throwing them in. He likes to climb up on the side of the crib and look in on Tate. Today when I was fixing Tate’s bottle in the kitchen, Tate was in his crib crying and I heard Hudson in there with him singing “Jesus loves me” to him. When I went in he had also thrown two of Tate’s stuffed animals on his head - “but he didn’t like them Mommy”. Such a helpful big brother! When my sister came over the other day he said “I have a new baby brother. Want to see him?” He holds him occasionally and gives him kisses on his head. He is working really hard to remember to cover his mouth when he sneezes. That coming after he sneezed on Tate’s face while we were giving him a bath the other night. Germs. They’re everywhere.

So that’s the highlights – if you want to hear all the little details, read on. If you’re sick of listening to me talk about pumping, breastmilk and so forth, then stop here!

The doctors told us not to take him out into crowds or be around a lot of people and we have kind of taken that to the extreme. We only had visitors three times this week – the first afternoon he was home my parents and sister came over to bring Hudson home. Wednesday my grandma came over to watch Hudson while we went to the pediatrician and then Friday my sister and her daughter came over. Tate slept in his bed the whole time. Everyone got a peek at him, but no holding yet. I’m sure we’ll ease up on the restrictions a little (maybe.) eventually but it’s all in his best interests for now. I went to Tate’s doctor appointment but otherwise didn’t leave the house till Saturday afternoon when I went to Target for groceries. Hudson didn’t leave the house until Sunday evening I took him to meet some of my family for ice cream. He is definitely missing seeing everyone and getting to go to Gigi’s all the time like he has the past 15 weeks or so (while I was working at the clinic for Jamie and then after Tate was born).

But just being home has been wonderful. I am getting so much more done around the house and I have started cooking again. I like to cook and only cooked one meal the past 9 weeks. Plus not a lot of cooking the few weeks before that when I was working at the clinic. So it feels good to get back in the kitchen and fix some meals. I have lots of new recipes I have found online that I have been wanting to try out so we’re getting those in now. Plus, my awesome sister-in-law froze a whole bunch of meals for us when she was here at Christmas, so the days I don’t feel like cooking (or making a mess) I have something I can just pull out and heat up.

We continue to work on the breastfeeding (once a day) but we seem to have lost some ground this week. He’s not latching as good as before. He is really impatient and when there’s no milk immediately he lets go and roots around again. That’s one reason the bottle is so much easier, the milk is immediately there. But it’s also one of the things that makes it hard to introduce breastfeeding after the bottle . But we’ll keep working at it.

It’s weird having him on a schedule like this. Hudson nursed on demand and he ate every hour and half for the first several months (at least!). So having 3 hours between feedings is weird. Since it’s breastmilk and not formula I am assuming that means we are feeding him a lot more than what a newborn would eat at one feeding. Or maybe it’s just because he wears out so easily he doesn’t eat as much. I have mastered pumping and feeding Tate a bottle at the same time, so that saves me a lot of time, especially at night. Feeding Tate a bottle isn’t as stressful as it used to be. He still chokes occasionally but not too often, and he usually recovers much quicker now too. It still takes him 20 minutes to finish the bottle and he still requires a lot of pacing and chin and cheek support. He has actually burped a couple of times the last 2 days for me. He never burped at the hospital. I will say, though, there is one nice thing about bottles – Jamie can feed him too! Hudson never left my side for the first 6 months, but I have already been able to leave Tate a few times with Jamie and go run some errands. Plus we usually alternate the nighttime feedings.

When Tate was in the NICU they provided me with 2 or 4 oz plastic bottles to store my breastmilk in. Now that he’s not there I have to buy the breastmilk bags they sell at the store. It was nice not having the extra expense ($ 10 for 50 bags and I use about 7 a day) and I thought I could get by without them because I could reuse the plastic bottles (since I’m now defrosting milk I have stored to feed him). But that didn’t work out since I’m producing so much more than he drinks. I am producing about 3 feedings at one pump…so if you do the math, that just didn’t work! But the nice thing about the bags is they freeze flat so they take up much less room in the freezer. We bought a deep freeze chest in December to store milk in and it’s already full, so we were trying to figure out what to do next. But I think we’ll manage using the bags instead. I am using the oldest breastmilk first (it’s only good for about 6 months) and I alternate feeding him frozen and fresh. I prepare 3 bottles at a time with the Enfacare powder, so he has 3 fresh, than 3 defrosted bottles. The NICU told us to give him fresh at least once a day because the milk does lose some of its antibodies after it’s frozen and defrosted.

Hudson always wants to take a picture of me and Tate whenever I have the camera out.  So far this is the best one he has taken.  It has almost my whole head in it and all of Tate!

Blessed

Today is Tate’s actual due date. Today he is now 61 days old. How different his life, and our lives, have turned out to be from what we had planned. This week I can’t help but be thinking about how it would have been. I’d be 40 weeks pregnant, huge and uncomfortable. We’d be anxiously awaiting those first labor pains and a precious little baby boy.


Instead we have spent this week reveling in our miracle. Tate. Being born 9 weeks premature could have been life threatening. For Tate, it wasn’t. He could have been on oxygen, a ventilator, or c-pap. He wasn’t. He could have had an infection. He didn’t. There could have been complications from his birth. There weren’t. There could have been numerous other complications in the past 9 weeks. There weren’t. Instead we have a beautiful baby boy with ten fingers and toes.

God’s exact plan for all of this is still being played out. I have no idea why he chose to get our attention in this manner, but He’s got it. I don’t know the path He’s leading us on, but we’re following. I don’t know the plan He has for Tate and our family, but I know there is one and it will be a good one. “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.’” I don’t know what the future holds for Tate. There could still be medical, physical or developmental complications we don’t know about yet. We know that’s a possibility. But we also know God has brought us this far and he isn’t going to desert us now.

We’ll continue to take life one day at a time reveling in our precious little boy and the reminder he is to us of God’s grace, power and love. Every time I hold him I realize how blessed I truly am. Blessed to have a healthy baby boy in my arms to love. Blessed to have his big brother running circles around me all day vying for my attention. Blessed to have a strong, godly husband who does everything in his power to support, love and care for our little family. Blessed by the family and friends who have supported and prayed for us the past 9 weeks.

…to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory…
                                                                                                               Ephesians 3:20-21

Our First Day Home Video

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Our First Day Home

Our first day home was wonderful. Of course, I’ve been dreaming about it for weeks now so almost anything could have happened and I’d still be happy. But the day went really well. I am so glad we were able to be all home together for the first winter snow storm. That was another worry I had the whole time Tate was in the NICU that a big storm would come and I wouldn’t be able to get to the hospital to see him. But God had that timed out perfectly. We got home just before it started snowing yesterday. I enjoyed looking out the window at the snow every time I got up with Tate during the night. Beautiful and peaceful.


Tate slept well the first night home. I set my alarm for every 3 hours to get up and feed him. He was wide awake at each feeding. That makes it so much easier to feed him! Especially helpful since we are half asleep. He is very squeaky and grunty. After the first feeding at midnight Jamie switched sides of the bed with me (Tate’s bassinet was closest to his side.). I think the grunting was interrupting his sleep. I must admit it wakes me up quite a bit too. I still am really surprised at how much noise he makes. We couldn’t hear half of it in the NICU. He is starting to cry a little more as well. Mostly just when we are changing his diaper and just waking him up to eat. He’d prefer to sleep but we have to make sure he eats!

The doctors and nurses all told us to let him sleep as much as possible, in his bed, and not hold him too much. But I feel so guilty for just leaving him in his bed. I just want to hold him all the time. It feels wrong to be doing stuff around the house instead of just sitting and holding him. But I know it’s best for him. I hope we are doing okay with it and he’s still gaining weight. We aren’t holding him for long periods of time, but he’s still being held a lot more than at the NICU. He’s sleeping in our room, but we carry him into his room to change his diaper. Sometimes I carry him into the kitchen to get his bottle. And back and forth. That’s a lot more than he’s used to since he could never go more than the 5 feet his monitor cords would allow. It’s a little nerve racking not being able to weigh him daily. (I didn’t have any luck finding a place to rent a scale.) I am surprised though that I don’t really miss the monitors. I think the fact that he was on them for so long and rarely had issues gives me more confidence now that he isn’t on them. I am actually not as worried as I was when Hudson was a baby. But don’t get me wrong – I still go in and check on him constantly. Just not as much as I did with Hudson. With Hudson I just never left his side (or he never left mine would be more accurate!).

I was definitely more nervous the first day Jamie went back to work after Hudson was born than I was today. He went ahead and worked this morning since he’s still on just a part time schedule. The morning went pretty fast, although I didn’t get anything done. I spent all morning trying to organize the bottles and pumping paraphernalia in the kitchen. And things were still strung all across the kitchen counter when Jamie got home. I still am not happy with it, but we’ll figure out what works best as we go along.

Tate’s first appointment with the pediatrician is Wednesday morning. We haven’t met this doctor before so it will be our first chance to meet him. I am assuming it will basically be an introduction to him, weighing Tate and then discussion of our game plan for how often he needs to be seen, when to do his circumcision, etc.

We had skipped two days of breastfeeding so I didn’t want to skip anymore. I tried the SNS (which the lactation consultant recommended) but it was a mess. Mostly just had milk coming out of the tube all over both of us. So today wasn’t a great success, but we’ll keep trying. I’m not sure I’ll keep up the SNS though unless Jamie is here to help with it.

Our biggest concern was getting him to take his full bottle feedings and so far he has taken at least 55 mls at each feeding. We offer him 60 mls but there’s always some left in the bottom that you just can’t get to come out. Today we actually gave him 20 extra mls about an hour after his feeding cause he was still wide awake and acting hungry! He still is not pacing himself at all so we have to do that for him. So still nerve racking and he has choked once or twice. We never asked the doctors when he would start pacing himself and be able to take a bottle like normal. He’s been eating bottles for about 4 weeks now and he’s come a long way from where we started, but still has a ways to go before he’s eating like a “normal” baby.

Hudson is a great big brother. We put his step stool next to the changing table. Every diaper change so far he has been right there next to us. Observing and “helping”. We gave Tate a bath tonight. I thought Hudson would be really interested in that, and he was until he found the little bottles of baby soap and lotion from the hospital. Those and the washcloth were more interesting than the bath itself. (If you listen really close in the video – at the very end when Hudson is trying to squeeze open the bottle of lotion – he’s pushing on the lid so hard he farts. It was hilarious.)

Every time he hears Tate cry or squeak he says “Mommy, did you hear that? Tate made a noise like this (imitates sound). I’ll go check on him.” Then he’ll run into our room and peak into the bassinet and run back out and say “he’s just sleeping.” He’s already “read” him a book and he likes to climb up on the rails of the crib and look in at Tate when I lay him down in the crib. So far he isn’t able to climb in with him so he’s pretty safe. So far. Hudson makes me nervous when I realize I haven’t seen him for a few minutes cause I’m sure I’ll find him doing something to Tate but he’s been really good and gentle. He’s held him twice now and always kisses him on the head. Sweet big brother!

Happy Ending ~ New Beginning

Once upon a time there was a handsome prince named Hudson. Hudson lived with his Mommy and Daddy. One day his beautiful Mommy told him that she had a baby in her tummy. Hudson was very excited to be a BIG brother. He and his Daddy were convinced the new baby was going to be a little brother, and they were right.


Mommy’s tummy started growing bigger and bigger until one day Mommy didn’t feel good and had to go to the hospital. She was sad because the baby came really early and was very tiny. Mommy and Daddy named him Baby Tate. God took care of Baby Tate and helped him to grow strong and big. But it took a looooonng time. Hudson was not allowed to see Baby Tate while he was in the hospital growing. He really wanted to but all he could do was see pictures and videos that Mommy and Daddy took of Baby Tate. He was really excited to be a Big Brother and couldn’t wait for Baby Tate to come home. Neither could Mommy and Daddy.

Finally one morning Mommy told Big Brother Hudson that today was the day Baby Tate was coming home. Hudson was SO excited. He couldn’t believe how little baby Tate was! Mommy kept talking about Tate getting bigger so Hudson thought he was going to be bigger than him! Hudson immediately loved Baby Tate and was proud to be his big brother. Mommy and Daddy were proud too.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The End. (But it’s really just a new beginning…)

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

First Peak

1 Thankful Daddy + 1 Blessed Mommy + 1 Proud Big Brother + 1 Sweet Baby Brother = 1 Happy Family!

 

Day 57, Sunday, January 9

More waiting today. But this time we are just waiting for the neonatologist to come in for one more exam and then discharge Tate. He took all his bottles fine overnight, his temperature’s been good, pooping constantly, has wet diapers. Shouldn’t be anything stopping us. They did one last blood draw and we are waiting on those results. But Tate’s never had any infection or problems so we aren’t anticipating any issues. Except he did get his second Synagis shot yesterday. That can sometimes cause a reaction, but he didn’t have any problems with the first shot.


It’s been weird being here. The nurses basically left us alone once they moved us out to the postpartum room. They would come if we called them for anything and brought us his vitamins in the morning and drew his blood. Otherwise it was just the 3 of us.

I have spoken to two different lactation consultants now who have told me that since Tate is now full term and weighs 6 pounds there’s no reason we can’t start fully breastfeeding on demand. But that’s not what any of the nurses or doctor’s say. So I’m confused. On the one hand, it makes sense to me that now that he’s bigger and older he should be able to do it. On the other, I have seen how much it wears him out and the fact that he hasn’t ever taken a full feeding yet. So I don’t know. I am sure we should play it safe and keep with the bottles. I don’t mind doing a few bottles a day, I’d just like to do more than one breastfeeding. One consultant suggested I supplement with SNS that way we know he’s getting plenty of milk, plus still gets the extra calorie supplement. I haven’t tried that in several weeks so I think that’s the route I will go once we get home. Probably still just once a day unless Tate’s pediatrician tells me different. We have to take him in early this week for his first appointment.

Tate saw and felt his first sunshine today. And that was just through the window. 55 days old and he’s never even been in the sunlight before. There were no windows in his pod in the NICU. If the weathermen are right, he’ll also get to experience snow today too!

The neonatologist came in around noon and did one last exam on Tate. Everything checked out okay and then he asked us if we had any questions. Mine, of course, was the breastfeeding. When I told him what the lactation people had been telling me and that it conflicted with the nurses, he only asked me “What do you think based on what you have seen Tate do?” Obviously I have seen how much the breastfeeding wears him out. He said, “That’s your answer.” So once a day. He was also the first one who admitted it was probably the breastfeeding that slowed us down again. No one else would ever tell me that but he said we’ve seen Tate build up on his bottles, then slow down after breastfeeding. I didn’t put him to breast yesterday because I didn’t want to do anything that might slow him down and stop us from coming home. I am not going to today either since it’s such a big day. I am sure taking him home and being in a new place will wear him out.

Dr. Samson clarified for us how exactly the “ad lib” schedule works. Tate can have up to 60 mls at each feeding. If he has an occasional feeding that he doesn’t take as much that’s okay but he should take at least 40 mls. He needs to have a minimum of 440 mls a day. He also said it could take 4-5 years for his umbilical hernia to go away!

He stressed to us, again, not to take Tate around large crowds because of cold/flu season and RSV. Don’t go to the mall, grocery store, church, etc. Keep him at home as much as possible and low stimulation till he’s bigger as well. Keep Hudson away from him if Hudson gets sick and if one of us gets sick, wear a mask. Wash our hands. So I know there are lots of you out there wanting to meet him, but it’s still going to be awhile…

One other important thing to note about preemies that I don’t think I’ve mentioned yet is that you have to track their development based on their gestational age/due date, not their birthdate. So although Tate is almost 8 weeks old, developmentally he’s still -1 week old. So he probably won’t roll over at 4 months (average age). He’ll be more like 5.5 months old before that happens. Eventually he will catch up but not till he’s older.

After Dr. Samson left we just had to pack up our stuff, feed Tate one more time and we were ready to go! They took Tate’s alarm bracelet off (He only wore it for the rooming in. He didn’t have one in the NICU.) and verified we had the correct baby by checking our badge numbers against the ID # on his footprint card. Then I had to sign the papers that it was the right baby and we could go. Oh, there was one other protocol: I had to ride in the wheelchair with Tate on my lap to leave the hospital. A little strange considering I have been out of the hospital for 7 weeks – especially since I didn’t even ride in a wheelchair when I got dismissed then!

Enjoying his first car ride.

I wonder if Tate will have the tongue biting habit like daddy and hudson? 

Rooming In

So it’s 11 pm. We are lying in bed in Room 435. We fed Tate his 9 pm bottle and put him back to bed. Jamie just turned to me and asked “So if he wakes up are we supposed to feed him?” My answer: “I don’t know.”


It’s really weird being in charge. Someone else has been in charge of him for the last 7 ½ weeks. They have him on a great 3 hour schedule. Great for everything except his bottom. Poor guy has awful diaper rash. Hopefully we can remedy that by changing his diaper more often. But we’re not real sure on the feeding. It was my understanding that we are supposed to keep him on the 3 hour schedule for eating. But if he wakes up an hour early we don’t just let him cry for an hour do we? Guess we have a few questions for the nurse. Although he doesn’t usually wake up more than 10-15 minutes earlier than feeding time and a lot of the time he would sleep right through if we didn’t wake him up. So maybe it won’t even be an issue for now. I am sure as he gets older he’ll be awake more, but when he’s bigger we won’t have to worry as much about how much and how often he’s eating. For tonight, and many nights to come, we’ll be setting our alarm for every 3 hours.

 I thought it would drive me crazy not having him hooked up to the monitors so I could see his heart rate and check if he’s breathing.  But it’s actually not bothering me so much.  I just have to get up and go check on him every 3 minutes, but it’s not that bad. J   Actually, he’s a very squeaky baby.  I didn’t know that till tonight cause it was never quiet enough in the NICU to hear all his squeaks and grunts. So I don’t usually have to wait too long in between squeaks to know he’s all right.

His midnight feeding didn’t go as well as we would have liked. He was tired, gagging a lot, and kept pushing the bottle out of his mouth. We had been using the small 2 oz bottle with the Playtex nipple and I think that was causing the problem. I guess you have to use the Playtex nipple with the Playtex bottles cause when we switched it back to the Playtex bottle he finished it without a problem. So now we know.

My fears about the pumping are now being realized. I wake up, change his diaper, get his bottle ready and feed him. That takes 30-45 minutes. After we get him back to bed, I have to pump. That takes another 15 minutes. By the time I get everything put away and back to bed it’s usually a full hour. That was one of the reasons I really wanted to be fully breastfeeding. It would save so much time. Plus next we’ll throw Hudson into the mix….that will be interesting. I’ll probably have to stop feeding Tate or pumping 3-4 times a session to go get him out of trouble, wipe his bottom, fix him a snack or something. I’m hoping I can get proficient enough at bottle feeding to start pumping as I’m feeding Tate his bottle. But I still have to build more confidence on the bottle feeding before I try that. No distractions.  The times Jamie feeds him I can pump as they eat, so it’s at least faster. It doesn’t save me from having to get up though. And I think Jamie’s thought is since I have to get up anyways…. :)

His 3 am and 6 am feedings went well. It’s weird being back “in” the hospital. I have to say this room is much nicer than any of the other ones we were in – specifically the shower. It’s big and has a built in seat for mom’s to sit on while they shower. I always had to ask the nurse for a stool to sit on in my rooms. Every time I sit up to get out of bed I have flashbacks to my c-section and have to remember that it doesn’t hurt anymore to get out of bed!

Day 56, Saturday, January 8

When the phone rang at 9 am this morning I knew this was it. The long-awaited, much-anticipated phone call. Tate is ready to come home!


The nurse called to tell me that Tate was coming home tomorrow and we had the option of rooming in tonight if we wanted to. I didn’t know it was optional but I’ve been waiting for this day for 53 days. I wasn’t going to not do it - it's kind of like a "rite of passage". The reason they do the rooming in is to make sure the parents know how to bathe, change diapers, take temperatures, prepare food and feed the baby. Since we have been here so much, they knew we were already competent with all those things, which is why it was optional for us. But if we didn’t do it we would have sat in the NICU till 2 am anyway tonight, so we figured we might as well get a comfy room and a chance to be together.

When the nurse showed me the “Rooming In” room this afternoon, I was reconsidering though. It’s just a tiny, narrow room with a twin size hospital bed and a recliner in it. There’s a bathroom attached. Plus cable TV, the nurse pointed out, like that would make it more comfortable to sleep in. So we packed our bags when we came up but we weren’t for sure that we’d spend the night. But I asked the night nurse if we could get a room out on the postpartum floor (I had heard the nurses call several times and request them, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask.) and they were able to get us one. This one is much bigger, but most important has a queen size bed so we could both sleep comfortably. The little bit of sleep we got, that is!

Since Tate was coming home, and the weatherman is predicting our first winter snowstorm beginning tomorrow, I needed to get to the grocery store and finish getting a few things for Tate. So I didn’t spend as much time up at the hospital this afternoon as I usually do, but I was there for his noon feeding and his 3 pm feeding. He did great at his noon feeding. We switched to the Playtex bottles we will be using at home and started with the slow nipple. He was collapsing it so we switched to the fast and he downed the bottle. He did his car seat test after his noon bottle and passed with flying colors. He had to sit in the car seat for an hour and a half while the nurse monitored his vitals. He slept the whole time. At 3 pm he didn’t finish his bottle for me but the nurse said that was fine. She also said we didn’t have to worry about making up the 13 mls he didn’t drink at 6 pm. So that was reassuring. I was worried if he didn’t drink every drop today he wouldn’t be coming home. The Playtex bottles are humongous (6 oz) compared to the little disposable ones we have been using (2 oz). So it’s very hard to judge how much is left in the bottle. I thought it was only 2-3 mls but when we actually measured it was 13 mls. When every little gram counts, 13 mls is a lot. Tate gained 27 grams today and weighs 6 pounds, 4.8 ounces. I didn’t put him to breast today because he was not as awake at feeding times as he needs to be to do well, and because I didn’t want to wear him out on such an important day.

After his 3 pm feeding I went shopping. Babies R’ Us, Wal-Mart and Michaels. Babies R’ us for bottles, nipples and other stuff Tate needs. Wal-Mart for groceries and more stuff for Tate. Michaels because I have been working on redoing the décor on my fireplace mantle and I have no idea when I’ll have a chance to get out and go shopping again… :)

We dropped Hudson off with my parents for the night and told him he would get to meet his baby brother tomorrow. I still don’t think he really has a clue. He’s in for a shock tomorrow! I think he knows there’s a baby and it’s his baby brother, but he has no idea what that really means, or that the baby is coming home to live with us forever.

Day 55, Friday, January 7

Could this be “it”? Tate is on a roll today too.


He was awake and hungry at 9 am and took his full bottle. When I got here about 11:45 am he was already awake so we put him to the breast. He latched right on and took 32 mls. Not his personal best, but a close second. I’ll take it! He had no problem finishing the last 20 from his bottle.

I have decided that if he has another setback today than I am going to put the breastfeeding back “on hold”. We didn’t do it yesterday since he was so tired and he had another great day. So if he falls back again today I think the breastfeeding is wearing him out too much. So we’ll see. I really hope it’s not the breastfeeding that is tiring him out but it is a lot more work for him. It stinks that it’s that way. It seems like bottles should be so much harder since breastfeeding is natural and an instinct for them. But it’s harder for them to get the milk out from breast than it is a bottle, so it burns more calories. The breastfeeding is so much more relaxing. Don’t have to worry about his breathing and choking like we do with the bottle. It’s relaxing for me though, not Tate.

The NP gave Tate new orders today. He is now on an “ad lib” schedule. Which means he is supposed to eat a minimum amount in 12 hours, but doesn’t necessarily have to eat the full feeding each time. He can have a max of 55 mls each feeding. If he doesn’t take his full feeding one time, then he should, hopefully, eat more at the next feeding to make up for it. This is one step closer to getting him home because this is the type of schedule they will send us home on. She also wrote orders to remove the human milk fortifier from his milk and replace it with Enfasure – which is what we’ll be using at home. Baby steps… Because he’s now on an ad lib schedule, the nurse took his NG tube out this afternoon too. Another step closer…

Tate took 50 of 55 mls at his 3 pm feeding. Angela (speech) was watching and she agreed he was too tired to continue because he started to get disorganized with his sucking and needed a lot of pacing. Tate held on to my finger the entire feeding and Angela took a picture of it for me. When she left Angela said she’d be surprised if we were still here Monday, but if we are, she’d be by to assess him again. This was his 10th bottle in a row! Definitely on a roll!

As I was getting ready to leave at 6 several of the nurses started telling my goodbye since they won’t be back on till next week. Tate was awake and ready to eat at 6 pm too. He took that full bottle with no problems.

He took his 9 pm bottle in 8 minutes for Jamie and his midnight bottle in 12 minutes. He finished both the 3 am and 6 am for the nurse as well.

Now that he has been moved to an ad lib schedule the next test he has to pass is doing all this work, eating all these bottles and still gain weight. Today he only gained 6 grams.

Could this really be it? We’re already so much farther than he was the first time when we thought we were going to go home. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much. But it’s hard not to.

Family of 3

We took Hudson out for our last "Family of 3" outing Thursday night. Bowling is another of his favorites, but after his first experience bowling, we were pretty scared to go back.  But I wanted to do something big and exciting for him, so we braved it.  I did seriously consider making him wear his bicycle helmet!  You'll notice Jamie never took his hands off of him when he was up at the lane!  But Hudson LOVED it.  Afterwards we played a few video games, Hudson won a green bouncy ball and we ate some pizza.  We all had a lot of fun and it was a great last "family of three" outing.
Now to get Tate home so we can be a family of four!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Day 54, Thursday, January 6

Tate started out slow today but ended with a big bang! They tubed his 9 am feeding and then I bottle fed him his noon. He was tired so instead of trying breast we just did bottle. But he was really tired. I paced him the entire time and he did good until we got to about the last 10 mls. Then he was OUT! Yesterday speech said not to force it if he wasn’t rooting around looking for it, so I stopped. But when the nurse saw how close we were to finishing she asked if she could give it a try. And, of course, he gobbled the last bit down for her and was pacing himself. So I asked her what the trick was and she said to make sure I was doing even stronger chin/cheek support when he starts getting tired.


At 3 pm I tried to put him to the breast but again, he was too tired. After a few minutes I could tell we weren’t going to get anywhere, so rather than wear him out more, we switched to the bottle. He was so tired but I was determined to not let the nurse show me up again. And we did it. I squeezed his little cheeks more than I have ever done before, and I think it took us about 45 minutes, but he finished the full 52 mls. And, at the end, he started pacing himself. It’s weird to me that he wouldn’t pace himself at the beginning and then get tired towards the end and need help pacing then. Speech said it was normal though. It just means he gets more comfortable and trusting towards the end so he’s able to do it on his own. Someday he’ll be able to do the whole thing without any pacing. Someday.

I left early today to go with Jamie and Hudson on our last “family of 3” outing. But the nurse said he woke up hungry at 6 and gobbled down his whole bottle in 5 minutes. She was shocked. Then at 9 pm he took the full bottle for Jamie in 10 minutes. And at midnight he was up and kicking and took it again in 10 minutes. On a roll!

He also took his 3 am and 6 am bottles for the nurse so he did 7 bottles today – in a row! Today he weighs 6 pounds, 3.2 ounces.

I am trying to not get my hopes up too much that this is finally “it”. But I HOPE so! Twice now though he has had 2 good days and then it’s taken him a couple days to recover from all those bottles. So we shall see what Friday holds for us. One day at a time. One bottle at a time.

Tate does have an umbilical hernia.  Almost all preemies get them. It's most likely because their stomachs/intestines aren't ready to handle food yet, but they have to eat anyway.  Rare cases require surgery to correct, but we just have to keep an eye on his.  We have tosquish it down once a day.  As long as it's still "squishable" all is okay.

I thought he just had an "outie" belly button! But when it started getting bigger the nurses told us it was a hernia.

sneak peek

I still have lots of other projects for Tate's nursery...but here's a little peak at what I (with the help of my family) have done so far.

The theme of the room is "geometric".  So lots of shapes.  So far it's all squares, but some of my other projects will fix that, whenever I get to them!

Day 53, Wednesday, January 5

Patience. Patience. Patience.



I’m trying but this is so frustrating. Tate took 6 bottles yesterday and today was too tired to take any (until 3 am). We attempted 4 (I did 2, the nurse 1 and Jamie 1) and he couldn’t finish any of them. He only got halfway before pooping out on us. So the 6 yesterday was obviously too much for him. The NP changed his orders to 6-8 today, which I was hoping she wouldn’t rush to do, but she did. But it didn’t really matter considering how tired Tate was. He wasn’t doing 6-8 today; he didn’t even make the 4-6.


He never latched on at the breast today either. He was awake at each feeding but more because we had woke him up for his assessment than, like yesterday, where he was up 10-15 minutes early and fussing and ready to go.

The night nurse didn’t let Jamie change his diapers, or help with his bath and then decided to tube him at 12 so that she could try to do his 3 and 6 am feedings. And, of course, he took those for her. Plus she scratched his face with her ID badge (nothing serious) and Jamie had to fill out an incident report about it. So it just wasn’t a good day.

On the bright side, he did gain almost 2 ounces today.  He now weighs 6 pounds, 2.4 ounces.  



“Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him.” Psalm 37:7

Carver Levi

Congratulations to my brother and his wife (and big sister Callista) on the birth of Carver Levi yesterday.  Weighing in at 8 lbs 14 oz - 20 inches - Tate's going to have to watch out for his "little" cousin!
                        

Day 52, Tuesday, January 4

Everyone needs a day of rest sometimes. Evidently that’s what Tate needed because today he is like a different baby – back to how he was a week ago. All four feedings that Jamie and I did today he was awake beforehand, fussing, crying, rooting and ready to eat! And he stayed awake through the feedings as well.  He is seven weeks old today.

The goal for today was 5-6 bottles. He took his 9 am for the nurse and I breastfed/bottled the noon. He took 36 mls at breast today! I am so happy! Yesterday I’m saying he hardly gets any and today he takes more than an ounce. He latched on right away and did really well today. After about 10 minutes he was starting to slow down so I switched him to the other side and he latched right back on and started nursing some more. He was still nursing at the 15 minute mark so we let him go to 20 minutes and then weighed him. I was really hoping he had gotten a lot, because it seemed like he had done really well, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up too much. Of course, the scale isn’t the most accurate, especially when a different nurse weighs at the beginning than the one who weighs at the end – you have to make sure you know exactly how the first nurse weighed – blanket on or off, leads hooked or unhooked, wires on the scale or off, etc. But those things usually make a big difference in weight so we know it’s a mistake. So we went with the 36 mls. Then he just had to take 16 more from the bottle and he gulped it right down.

The nurse had planned to gavage his 3 pm since we were taking it slow today but Tate was awake and chomping so she made him promise not to make her look bad and he followed through! He took the whole bottle (52 mls) in about 17 minutes. When we started bottle feeding he was only at about 30 mls and the 52 today seems like so much (The NP raises his feeds 1-2 mls every few days depending on his weight gain). The little bottles only hold 60 so they are almost full now so it seems like we are feeding him a lot. I had to pace him the whole time but he did great and had no choking episodes.


He was still sleeping when I left at 6 but we were already planning to gavage that feeding cause we knew he would be worn out after 3 in a row. But he was mad and hungry when Jamie fed him at 9 and midnight and he took the whole bottle.


They gavaged him at 3 and then he took a full bottle at 6 am, so he made his goal of 6 bottles for the day. I am hoping that they will take it slow for the next few days and keep him at 4-6 to let him get used to that, rather than jumping right up to 6-8 like we did last week. But maybe he’s ready for it this time, or maybe our insurance company is pushing pretty hard at this point so they’ll try 6-8 again tomorrow. We’ll see.

Day 51, Monday, January 3

When I called this morning to see how Tate did overnight she said Tate only took 3 full bottles yesterday.  So because of that the NP changed his orders to 4-6 bottles a day instead of 6-8.  He hasn’t done more than 6 in a few days anyway.  So today the plan is to only do 4 bottles and gavage every other one and see how he does. 

Since they were gavaging the noon feeding I decided to wait and have Jamie come up with me so we could talk to someone about what’s going on.  I was hoping we could talk to speech about the nipple issue and see what she thought of how he ate today.  But she never came today for some reason, so maybe tomorrow.  We came up about 2 pm and spoke to his nurse about everything.  She was his nurse last Wednesday when he took the 8 so she was surprised to see us still here and hear that he only took 3 bottles yesterday.  So we talked to her about all the issues and she said she definitely thought we had switched things up way too much yesterday with the nipples and introducing new bottles.  We were in total agreement with that so we went back to using the same medium flow nipple that speech told us to use last week and the hospital bottles instead of the Playtex ones we bought.  She said we’ll switch to the Playtex ones once we get him back up to 8 bottles and a day or two before going home. 

We asked her about the fact that he seems to always take a full bottle for the nurses but we are the ones having the failures (of the 3 he took yesterday - all 3 of those the nurses fed him).  She said the most important thing to do for him is chin and cheek support.  We do that a lot better than some of the nurses. We have watched some of them feed and they don’t do it at all.  So I really think the issue is how tired he has been, not something we are doing wrong.  But it is still really frustrating.

Last we asked her about the breastfeeding and if she thought we should discontinue that, if that was the cause of all these problems.  She was a little more wishy-washy (than the others have been) about whether it could be the cause but she encouraged us to keep doing it just once a day, for 10-15 minutes, max.  But it’s really up to us.  Obviously if we only did bottles we’d get out of here quicker but my concern with waiting on breastfeeding till we get home is if he does this same thing when we introduce breastfeeding again at home.  We don’t want him at home not eating and then have to be readmitted with a “failure to thrive” label. So I’d rather keep it up the once a day and get him accustomed to that now while we’re here.

I went ahead with the breastfeeding at his 3 pm feeding.  We limited him to 15 minutes and he only took 2 mls.  So at this point besides burning some extra calories he’s not really doing anything with the breastfeeding.  So it’s not much different than just letting him do the dry nursing we have been doing all along.  So I’ve decided to keep with it once a day.  I am really hoping once he gets past full term (40 weeks) and bigger than 8 pounds that he’ll start doing better at breastfeeding.  I am NOT giving up on it.  But I’m realizing more and more how much more work it is for him and how long it will take us to get switched over to fully breastfeeding, if ever.  And it makes it more obvious that we’d be nowhere near this close to going home if we had kept with exclusive breastfeeding.  We’ve been doing bottles for 2.5 weeks now and sometimes he’s not getting any more milk from the breast than he was before.  He has improved on his latch and sucking though. 

Tate finally took a full bottle for me after we breastfed.  He hasn’t taken a full bottle for me since last Wednesday, I think.  So maybe the rest he’s getting today is helping.  He took the full bottle in about 10 minutes but still needed pacing the whole time.  He choked once but not as bad as he has before.  The nurse watched and said I was pacing him just like she would and doing everything right.  So I do really think the issue was just how tired he’s been the last few days cause I didn’t feed him any differently today than I have been trying to all along.

He took his full bottle at 9 for Jamie too and another full at 3 am so he took 4 full today.  And we hit that 6 pound mark today - 6 pounds, 0.8 ounces!  He is actually starting to fill out his preemie clothes.  Lengthwise especially. He’s 17.5 inches now.  Everything is still too big on him but his feet actually stay in the ‘footsies’ on a few of his outfits.  Several of the nurses that we haven’t had in a while have been stopping in the last few days and can’t get over how big he has gotten.  He’s looking more and more like big brother Hudson every day!

I guess he wanted everyone to leave him alone and turn out the lights!