Do Not Worry
8 months ago
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Day 50, Sunday, January 2
Tate took 6 straight bottles from 6 pm to 9 am last night! Progress but of the 6 Jamie fed him 2 and I fed him zero. So the nurses are doing better than we are, me especially. I came up to breastfeed at noon but because he’d had 6 in a row we had to gavage him instead. The nurse told me that the night nurse switched him back to the slow flow nipple because he was having so many choking problems. I wasn’t real happy to hear that since it was speech who told us he was ready for the faster ones and I don’t feel like the nurses listen to anything speech says, but I’m all for not having the choking episodes. She said he was still choking some with the slow flow but he was able to recover much faster with the slower flow nipple.
I put him to breast at 3 and he took 20. That’s better than yesterday so more progress. He was awake and alert, chewing on his hands so that was a much better start than yesterday. But by the time we got to the bottle he was pretty tired. He took another 20 mls for me from the bottle and she pushed the last 10 in his tube. (When it’s not very much they just push the milk into his tube with a syringe instead of hooking it up to the pump.)
He woke up at 5:45 so we started his bottle early so I could do it. He did okay. Took about 15 mls for me in the few minutes we had to work on it. The nurse took over and fed the rest (they close the NICU from 6-8 every evening for shift change so I had to leave.). She went back to the faster flow nipple cause she wasn’t convinced the slow one was that great at his 3 pm feeding. But today milk was dribbling out the sides of his mouth and he’s never had that happen before. Maybe we are just confusing him by switching the nipples back and forth. I don’t know. I watched her feed him for a little bit and she wasn’t giving him any chin/cheek support. She was pacing him but she was pacing him by pulling the bottle up instead of holding Tate and the bottle back and then bringing them both up together like speech showed us to do. I went to the store today and bought bottles the nurse recommended and both slow and fast nipples to go with them. She wants us to start using those and maybe we’ll have better luck. They want us to use the kind we’ll have at home for awhile to get used to them and make sure we don’t have any problems with them. Speech should be back tomorrow so hopefully I’ll get a chance to talk to them and get their opinion on everything that’s been going on.
Jamie went back up for the evening shift and he tried using the new bottles with the slow nipple. Tate only took half. He tried again at midnight and Tate still didn’t finish it. They gavaged him at 3 am and he took bottle for nurse at 6. He only did 3 full bottles today. He seems very disorganized while he’s trying to eat. I think we are just confusing him with all the changes we are trying to make and pushing him too hard. Plus I think the bad chokes he had scared him so we are going to have to work back up to where we were before.
Tate weighs 5 pounds, 14 ounces today. More than three pounds over his birth weight now and so close to being a 6 pounder!
Another baby died today. This baby was in the other pod from Tate so I don’t know much about him. I had talked to the mom a few times when I saw her in the lactation room. She had twin boys. Since he was in the other pod they didn’t make visitors leave from Tate’s pod when it happened but I was in the lactation room (pumping) and the mom came in. The lactation room has 3 curtained areas and I was in one pumping when she came in crying. Immediately someone else came in and asked her if there was anything they could do for her. Then they both started crying and talking about planning the funeral and how unfair it was, that they never got to celebrate his birth and now he was gone, etc. It was awful to be sitting right there next to them listening. I packed up my pumping ‘gear’ and left so that they could have some privacy. I came back in and stood at Tate’s bed just looking at him and said a prayer for the family and for Tate. We are so blessed that Tate is so healthy. No matter how frustrating this whole bottle feeding is, I keep having to remind myself how much worse it could be and that this is trivial compared to what could be.
I put him to breast at 3 and he took 20. That’s better than yesterday so more progress. He was awake and alert, chewing on his hands so that was a much better start than yesterday. But by the time we got to the bottle he was pretty tired. He took another 20 mls for me from the bottle and she pushed the last 10 in his tube. (When it’s not very much they just push the milk into his tube with a syringe instead of hooking it up to the pump.)
He woke up at 5:45 so we started his bottle early so I could do it. He did okay. Took about 15 mls for me in the few minutes we had to work on it. The nurse took over and fed the rest (they close the NICU from 6-8 every evening for shift change so I had to leave.). She went back to the faster flow nipple cause she wasn’t convinced the slow one was that great at his 3 pm feeding. But today milk was dribbling out the sides of his mouth and he’s never had that happen before. Maybe we are just confusing him by switching the nipples back and forth. I don’t know. I watched her feed him for a little bit and she wasn’t giving him any chin/cheek support. She was pacing him but she was pacing him by pulling the bottle up instead of holding Tate and the bottle back and then bringing them both up together like speech showed us to do. I went to the store today and bought bottles the nurse recommended and both slow and fast nipples to go with them. She wants us to start using those and maybe we’ll have better luck. They want us to use the kind we’ll have at home for awhile to get used to them and make sure we don’t have any problems with them. Speech should be back tomorrow so hopefully I’ll get a chance to talk to them and get their opinion on everything that’s been going on.
Jamie went back up for the evening shift and he tried using the new bottles with the slow nipple. Tate only took half. He tried again at midnight and Tate still didn’t finish it. They gavaged him at 3 am and he took bottle for nurse at 6. He only did 3 full bottles today. He seems very disorganized while he’s trying to eat. I think we are just confusing him with all the changes we are trying to make and pushing him too hard. Plus I think the bad chokes he had scared him so we are going to have to work back up to where we were before.
Tate weighs 5 pounds, 14 ounces today. More than three pounds over his birth weight now and so close to being a 6 pounder!
Another baby died today. This baby was in the other pod from Tate so I don’t know much about him. I had talked to the mom a few times when I saw her in the lactation room. She had twin boys. Since he was in the other pod they didn’t make visitors leave from Tate’s pod when it happened but I was in the lactation room (pumping) and the mom came in. The lactation room has 3 curtained areas and I was in one pumping when she came in crying. Immediately someone else came in and asked her if there was anything they could do for her. Then they both started crying and talking about planning the funeral and how unfair it was, that they never got to celebrate his birth and now he was gone, etc. It was awful to be sitting right there next to them listening. I packed up my pumping ‘gear’ and left so that they could have some privacy. I came back in and stood at Tate’s bed just looking at him and said a prayer for the family and for Tate. We are so blessed that Tate is so healthy. No matter how frustrating this whole bottle feeding is, I keep having to remind myself how much worse it could be and that this is trivial compared to what could be.
Day 49, Saturday, January 1
When I was little I always had a pet hamster. Ben, Peaches and Oreo are the names of the ones I remember but I think there were probably a few others in there too. The poor things just slept in their cages all the time except for whenever Mom made us clean their cages out. The only form of exercise they had was one of those wheels that they could run on. I remember lying in bed and listening to the hamster run and run at night on that squeaky wheel. I feel like one of those hamsters right now. Running and running and getting nowhere. We are constantly going back and forth from the hospital, never time for much rest, yet here we are going around in circles with this bottle thing. I am so tired. I am so frustrated.
Tate was too tired today to eat. That’s really what it came down to. He took his bottle at nine for the nurse no problem. Our plan was to bottle his noon and then breastfeed at his 3 but at noon he hardly stirred for his assessment. The nurse gave me the bottle and said go for it, but there was no way I was forcing it in when he was tired. I did that a few days ago with bad results so I was not going to try again. I fiddled around a little trying to get him to take the bottle but he never did. One of the nurses came over and stuck it right in and then gave him back to me. I unwrapped him and got him to wake up a little and he took about 35 for me before he went back to sleep. Finally one of the nurses looked over and said he was too tired to keep trying. So we gavaged the rest.
Then at three it took me 15 minutes to get him to wake up to even try to latch and then another 15 minutes to get him to latch on. So we were already 15 minutes over our time allotment for breast feeding. He then latched on and nursed for another 10 minutes but he only took 10 mls. Then he was too tired to do much with his bottle so we ended up gavaging most of it.
Normally we have Hudson spend the night with my parents and we both go up on Saturday nights but I was too frustrated to go back up tonight. Jamie went and, of course, Tate took both his full bottles at 9 and 12, plus he took the one at 6 pm for the nurse. Maybe I am the problem. Do I just need to shove it in and make him take it? Speech said not to. She said if he is too tired or just doesn’t want it to not force it. Otherwise we’ll cause nipple aversion and be even worse off. We have to gain his trust. He can’t be scared of it either. I feel like that is part of the problem after he choked the other day, plus every nurse feeds him differently. He’s never sure what he’s going to get and he’s starting to not trust us. So how do we regain his trust and get going again? I have no idea.
One piece of good news though is that he is gaining weight again. He’s gone a couple days just gaining a few grams and even though they took him off the extra protein in his milk, he still gained today. Tate is up to 5 pounds and 12 ounces today.
Tate was too tired today to eat. That’s really what it came down to. He took his bottle at nine for the nurse no problem. Our plan was to bottle his noon and then breastfeed at his 3 but at noon he hardly stirred for his assessment. The nurse gave me the bottle and said go for it, but there was no way I was forcing it in when he was tired. I did that a few days ago with bad results so I was not going to try again. I fiddled around a little trying to get him to take the bottle but he never did. One of the nurses came over and stuck it right in and then gave him back to me. I unwrapped him and got him to wake up a little and he took about 35 for me before he went back to sleep. Finally one of the nurses looked over and said he was too tired to keep trying. So we gavaged the rest.
Then at three it took me 15 minutes to get him to wake up to even try to latch and then another 15 minutes to get him to latch on. So we were already 15 minutes over our time allotment for breast feeding. He then latched on and nursed for another 10 minutes but he only took 10 mls. Then he was too tired to do much with his bottle so we ended up gavaging most of it.
Normally we have Hudson spend the night with my parents and we both go up on Saturday nights but I was too frustrated to go back up tonight. Jamie went and, of course, Tate took both his full bottles at 9 and 12, plus he took the one at 6 pm for the nurse. Maybe I am the problem. Do I just need to shove it in and make him take it? Speech said not to. She said if he is too tired or just doesn’t want it to not force it. Otherwise we’ll cause nipple aversion and be even worse off. We have to gain his trust. He can’t be scared of it either. I feel like that is part of the problem after he choked the other day, plus every nurse feeds him differently. He’s never sure what he’s going to get and he’s starting to not trust us. So how do we regain his trust and get going again? I have no idea.
One piece of good news though is that he is gaining weight again. He’s gone a couple days just gaining a few grams and even though they took him off the extra protein in his milk, he still gained today. Tate is up to 5 pounds and 12 ounces today.
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| At least someone is getting some use out of the bassinet.... |
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Day 48, Friday, December 31
We took a step back today and slowed down. I called the nurse and spoke with her first thing this morning to see how he did during the night. He slept all night long. The nurse gavaged his feed at 4 am since he didn’t wake up for his 3 am feeding and then he slept till 8 am. He woke up mad and hungry. So she fed him a bottle and he took full feed plus some extra. She gave him extra so that he would hopefully sleep till noon to get him back on his three hour schedule. That worked because when I got there at 11:45 he was just waking up and he was mad, soaking wet and hungry.
PT was just getting ready to do his evaluation so I watched while she did that. They just test reflexes and muscle tone. She did tell me he doesn’t have full range of motion in his neck to his left side so she showed me how to stretch his neck so we can work on that. She said to stretch him at every diaper change. She also pointed out that his head is starting to get flat on the right side so we need to make sure he is sleeping more on his left side. He always sleeps on his right side (probably because of his decreased range of motion to the left) and his little ear is always all crumpled up when he wakes up. So that’s something we need to pay close attention to and make sure it gets better. As long as he still has his soft spot on the top of his head his head shape can keep changing.
I asked the nurse if we should delay breastfeeding for a little longer since he had such a hard time with it yesterday and was so tired. She said she doesn’t think it was the breastfeeding itself that wore him out so much as it was the 8 bottles he took the day before. She thinks he’ll be a good breastfeeding baby and that we should continue with the one a day. She said we don’t want to wait too long to start introducing it again or he will get to used to how fast the milk flow is in a bottle and get frustrated with the slower milk flow at breast. So at her urging I decided to do it again today and see how he did. However we decided to limit him to just 15 minutes at the breast and then gavage the next feeding so that he could rest. I felt better about this plan and decided to at least give it another try today.
He took 24 mls – the most (by far) he has ever done at breast! He then took the rest by bottle. He had his 6 pm feeding gavaged and then took the bottle at 9 pm and midnight for Jamie. He also took his 3 am and 6 am bottles but was pretty tired the nurses said. He is still choking at least once a feeding usually which leads to a bradycardia. He can’t come home until he hasn’t had a brady for at least 5 days but I guess they don’t count bradys that happen while he’s eating. So the last brady he had, unrelated to feeding, was 12/28. So assuming he doesn’t have another brady and starts taking all his bottles he could come home on 1/3. But that’s all depending on the bottles really. His bradys are not a real concern because he doesn’t have them very often, but since we have slowed back down on the bottles I doubt we’ll be home that quick. Tate continues to gain weight but not as quickly as what he was before. He weighs 5 pounds, 11 ounces today. He has to average an ounce a day and he’s been gaining just a few grams the last few days, but hopefully he’ll start gaining more again since we are slowing back down. So everything has to balance out - the bradys, the bottles and the weight gain before we are going anywhere.
We had planned a special evening with Hudson as our last family of 3 outing for tonight but that didn’t end up happening. We were going to take him to the movies for the very first time but the movie started at 5 pm and Hudson didn’t wake up from his nap till 5:30. Jamie tried to get him up but he was not having it. So we cancelled those plans but, unfortunately, it looks like we'll still have another week or so for our last "family of 3" outing. Disappointing since just two days ago I thought we might be rooming in tonight. We ended up having a delicious dinner (prepared by my sister and mother) with my family. Then Jamie headed up to the hospital and Hudson and I went home to bed. I managed to stay awake long enough to send Jamie a text wishing him a happy new year at midnight and then I went to bed. So we didn’t do anything fun and fancy to ring in 2011 but we’ll have our “party” when Tate comes home.
PT was just getting ready to do his evaluation so I watched while she did that. They just test reflexes and muscle tone. She did tell me he doesn’t have full range of motion in his neck to his left side so she showed me how to stretch his neck so we can work on that. She said to stretch him at every diaper change. She also pointed out that his head is starting to get flat on the right side so we need to make sure he is sleeping more on his left side. He always sleeps on his right side (probably because of his decreased range of motion to the left) and his little ear is always all crumpled up when he wakes up. So that’s something we need to pay close attention to and make sure it gets better. As long as he still has his soft spot on the top of his head his head shape can keep changing.
I asked the nurse if we should delay breastfeeding for a little longer since he had such a hard time with it yesterday and was so tired. She said she doesn’t think it was the breastfeeding itself that wore him out so much as it was the 8 bottles he took the day before. She thinks he’ll be a good breastfeeding baby and that we should continue with the one a day. She said we don’t want to wait too long to start introducing it again or he will get to used to how fast the milk flow is in a bottle and get frustrated with the slower milk flow at breast. So at her urging I decided to do it again today and see how he did. However we decided to limit him to just 15 minutes at the breast and then gavage the next feeding so that he could rest. I felt better about this plan and decided to at least give it another try today.
He took 24 mls – the most (by far) he has ever done at breast! He then took the rest by bottle. He had his 6 pm feeding gavaged and then took the bottle at 9 pm and midnight for Jamie. He also took his 3 am and 6 am bottles but was pretty tired the nurses said. He is still choking at least once a feeding usually which leads to a bradycardia. He can’t come home until he hasn’t had a brady for at least 5 days but I guess they don’t count bradys that happen while he’s eating. So the last brady he had, unrelated to feeding, was 12/28. So assuming he doesn’t have another brady and starts taking all his bottles he could come home on 1/3. But that’s all depending on the bottles really. His bradys are not a real concern because he doesn’t have them very often, but since we have slowed back down on the bottles I doubt we’ll be home that quick. Tate continues to gain weight but not as quickly as what he was before. He weighs 5 pounds, 11 ounces today. He has to average an ounce a day and he’s been gaining just a few grams the last few days, but hopefully he’ll start gaining more again since we are slowing back down. So everything has to balance out - the bradys, the bottles and the weight gain before we are going anywhere.
We had planned a special evening with Hudson as our last family of 3 outing for tonight but that didn’t end up happening. We were going to take him to the movies for the very first time but the movie started at 5 pm and Hudson didn’t wake up from his nap till 5:30. Jamie tried to get him up but he was not having it. So we cancelled those plans but, unfortunately, it looks like we'll still have another week or so for our last "family of 3" outing. Disappointing since just two days ago I thought we might be rooming in tonight. We ended up having a delicious dinner (prepared by my sister and mother) with my family. Then Jamie headed up to the hospital and Hudson and I went home to bed. I managed to stay awake long enough to send Jamie a text wishing him a happy new year at midnight and then I went to bed. So we didn’t do anything fun and fancy to ring in 2011 but we’ll have our “party” when Tate comes home.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Day 47, Thursday, December 30
Two steps forward, one step back. They said it could happen but it is really frustrating. I was so hopeful yesterday that we were getting out of here this weekend but after today, that’s not happening.
I started freaking out about all the stuff we need to get done before Tate gets home so I recruited the troops and they were all at my house today with a whole list of things to do. I still have to get to the store though and pick out bottles, nipples and pacifiers. I’ll need to get the calorie supplement and his vitamins too but I am still waiting for the NP to tell me exactly which kinds to buy before I do that. Dr. Samson came by again and said we won’t make New Years but a few days after. So we’re still close, just not as close as I was hoping.
I put Tate back to the breast today with disappointing results. Although his latch and suck is much better than it was last time we tried to breastfeed, he still only took 4 mls. So we still have a lot of work to do on the breastfeeding. The nurse today told me I probably don’t want to be breastfeeding more than once a day until he gets off the calorie supplement. So it will be pretty slow going at first but that will give him plenty of time to figure it out and build us some stamina. Once he’s off the supplement and doing good with one breast feed then we can move up to a second one. She said that I should nurse him and then wait and see how long it was before he gets hungry again. When he gets hungry feed him a bottle, obviously, and use that as a measure as to how much milk he’s getting. When he can go a full 2-3 hours after nursing, then we can add the second one. She also reminded me that I can come to the lactation clinic here as often as I want and they’ll weigh him before and after to see how much he’s getting.
The good news was that although we spent 30 minutes nursing and I was worried he would be too tired for a bottle, Tate took his whole bottle in less than 10 minutes. I was really happy to see that since he doesn’t have his tube in anymore. I don’t want them to have to put it back in. But what I want and what Tate needs turned out to be two different things.
I was surprised he did so good with his noon bottle after nursing but I guess it didn’t hit him till later cause the 3:00 feeding was probably our worst one ever (for me and him anyways). He was really tired and wasn’t really awake. I was thinking we probably shouldn’t do it but really didn’t want to see them put his tube back in so I tried it anyway. I knew better and I’ve been kicking myself ever since. He was barely awake and ended up choking several times. The third time he choked was really bad. His heart rate dropped, he d-sated down to about 50% and was turning blue. I called the nurse over and she took him and held him till he got his pulse ox back up. She didn’t do anything special to him, just held him tight while he recovered. She got him to take the bottle again and gave him back to me but that was it for me. I was in tears and couldn’t have kept feeding him even if he had wanted to. But he was still asleep. So I gave up.
The disappointment with the failed nursing session, the tension of feeding him, the scare of him choking like that, plus the guilt cause I knew in the first place we should have just tubed that feeding - it took me quite a bit to get it back together. The nurse and NP kept checking on me and telling me it was okay. The NP did change Tate’s orders so that he has to eat a minimum amount every 4 hours, not necessarily his full bottle every 3 to see if that would be better for him.
He never took the rest of his 3 pm bottle but he took his full bottle plus some extra at 6 pm for the nurse. Then Jamie fed him at nine and midnight and he was still too tired and stressed so he never took a full bottle. He also had a bad choking episode for Jamie. So finally the nurse said it was time to put his tube back in and let him rest. That’s what I had been hoping for after he didn’t take the full 9:00 feeding. I am hoping they gavage him for both the 3 am and the 6 am feedings before they try a bottle again. He is so wiped out and stressed from us trying to stick a bottle down his throat. My poor baby.
It is SO frustrating to not be able to feed my son a bottle. It should be so easy and it’s not. It’s scary and hard – for both of us. I am glad though that we tried the breastfeeding again before we got home. It would not have been good to have this happen at home. So now we know what’s too much for him. At this point, I am ready to stop the breastfeeding again for two more weeks and try again when he’s bigger and has more energy to burn so I am going to talk to the nurse tomorrow and get her take on it. Surprisingly, he did gain 12 grams today so it wasn’t a loss like I was expecting after the hard day he had.
I started freaking out about all the stuff we need to get done before Tate gets home so I recruited the troops and they were all at my house today with a whole list of things to do. I still have to get to the store though and pick out bottles, nipples and pacifiers. I’ll need to get the calorie supplement and his vitamins too but I am still waiting for the NP to tell me exactly which kinds to buy before I do that. Dr. Samson came by again and said we won’t make New Years but a few days after. So we’re still close, just not as close as I was hoping.
I put Tate back to the breast today with disappointing results. Although his latch and suck is much better than it was last time we tried to breastfeed, he still only took 4 mls. So we still have a lot of work to do on the breastfeeding. The nurse today told me I probably don’t want to be breastfeeding more than once a day until he gets off the calorie supplement. So it will be pretty slow going at first but that will give him plenty of time to figure it out and build us some stamina. Once he’s off the supplement and doing good with one breast feed then we can move up to a second one. She said that I should nurse him and then wait and see how long it was before he gets hungry again. When he gets hungry feed him a bottle, obviously, and use that as a measure as to how much milk he’s getting. When he can go a full 2-3 hours after nursing, then we can add the second one. She also reminded me that I can come to the lactation clinic here as often as I want and they’ll weigh him before and after to see how much he’s getting.
The good news was that although we spent 30 minutes nursing and I was worried he would be too tired for a bottle, Tate took his whole bottle in less than 10 minutes. I was really happy to see that since he doesn’t have his tube in anymore. I don’t want them to have to put it back in. But what I want and what Tate needs turned out to be two different things.
I was surprised he did so good with his noon bottle after nursing but I guess it didn’t hit him till later cause the 3:00 feeding was probably our worst one ever (for me and him anyways). He was really tired and wasn’t really awake. I was thinking we probably shouldn’t do it but really didn’t want to see them put his tube back in so I tried it anyway. I knew better and I’ve been kicking myself ever since. He was barely awake and ended up choking several times. The third time he choked was really bad. His heart rate dropped, he d-sated down to about 50% and was turning blue. I called the nurse over and she took him and held him till he got his pulse ox back up. She didn’t do anything special to him, just held him tight while he recovered. She got him to take the bottle again and gave him back to me but that was it for me. I was in tears and couldn’t have kept feeding him even if he had wanted to. But he was still asleep. So I gave up.
The disappointment with the failed nursing session, the tension of feeding him, the scare of him choking like that, plus the guilt cause I knew in the first place we should have just tubed that feeding - it took me quite a bit to get it back together. The nurse and NP kept checking on me and telling me it was okay. The NP did change Tate’s orders so that he has to eat a minimum amount every 4 hours, not necessarily his full bottle every 3 to see if that would be better for him.
He never took the rest of his 3 pm bottle but he took his full bottle plus some extra at 6 pm for the nurse. Then Jamie fed him at nine and midnight and he was still too tired and stressed so he never took a full bottle. He also had a bad choking episode for Jamie. So finally the nurse said it was time to put his tube back in and let him rest. That’s what I had been hoping for after he didn’t take the full 9:00 feeding. I am hoping they gavage him for both the 3 am and the 6 am feedings before they try a bottle again. He is so wiped out and stressed from us trying to stick a bottle down his throat. My poor baby.
It is SO frustrating to not be able to feed my son a bottle. It should be so easy and it’s not. It’s scary and hard – for both of us. I am glad though that we tried the breastfeeding again before we got home. It would not have been good to have this happen at home. So now we know what’s too much for him. At this point, I am ready to stop the breastfeeding again for two more weeks and try again when he’s bigger and has more energy to burn so I am going to talk to the nurse tomorrow and get her take on it. Surprisingly, he did gain 12 grams today so it wasn’t a loss like I was expecting after the hard day he had.
Day 46, Wednesday, December 29
I am one happy mama today! When I came at noon to feed him his bottle he gobbled it down in less than 10 minutes. And that was his fifth bottle in a row!
To trump yesterday’s nurse telling me to bring his car seat in, today’s nurse had a table full of brochures for me, a video they make you watch before you can take baby home, a can of the fortifier we add to his milk and she sat down and talked to me about going home and what to do when we get there. I have been dreaming of this day and we are now so close!
The NP came by as he was finishing his noon bottle and since he did so well with it she raised his orders from 4-6 a day to 6-8 bottles a day. Last step! Speech said it would be a few days of 6 full bottles before they raised it but she wasn’t able to come today so I guess they made the decision without her. I am sure part of it has to do with how hard our insurance is pushing at this point to get him out of here… He now has to do 2 days in a row of 8 bottles and he’ll be able to go home (assuming he doesn’t lose weight either). It’s even possible that the second day of 8 could coincide with our rooming in. So we are talking a matter of a few days now assuming Tate cooperates with our plan!
I still have so much to do at home to get ready! Most important, I need to get bottles, nipples and a bassinet. Blankets and clothes are washed (although he still won’t fit in most of his clothes). I have to pick out a “coming home” outfit. Get some pacifiers. Figure out what to do with my breast pump. (It hasn’t been working very well so I rented one from the hospital but I have to return it the day he comes home. Otherwise they’ll charge it to my credit card. I’d love to keep it –but it’s a $2000 pump!) Tate’s room is nowhere near ready but it will be awhile before he’s sleeping in there anyways so that’s not a big rush. I’ll be home all the time now so I will be able to get some stuff done around the house…. But whether I’ll have time to do anything…we’ll see.
Tate took 45 mls for me at his 3 pm feeding. Still great but they just raised him from 46 to 48 mls at this feed so not a full bottle. But really good considering that was his 6th bottle in a row! I went to pump shortly after feeding him and when I came back the nurse said he had been fussing a little so she gave him the bottle and he took the last few mls. So that was 6 bottles in a row!
Tate is always waking up about 20 minutes before his assessment time and starting to fuss now. So he must be getting hungrier faster and is realizing it and letting us know. They said that will happen as he gets closer to full term. He’s 37.5 weeks gestation right now so he is considered “full term” even though 40 weeks is a complete gestation period.
I had lots of questions about getting him home so the NP came over to answer them this afternoon. My biggest question is how and when I should start working on breastfeeding with him again. She said now! So tomorrow I will put him to breast for one of his feedings and we’ll see how he does. We’ll give him 15 minutes and then weigh him and see what he took, then try to get him to take the rest from the bottle. She said at home to just start once a day with him and then always offer him a bottle after to make sure he gets enough. I’d prefer to have a scale so I can see what he’s actually getting so I am going to look into getting one. Then as he starts taking more and more I can increase the number of breastfeedings and decrease his bottles.
He still has to have bottles for awhile because we are going to still supplement with 24 calorie fortifier at home. They want us to supplement until he reaches 8 pounds. Here they are using human milk fortifier to supplement with but I can’t purchase that so we’ll have to use a formula brand supplement. Not real excited about having to use formula but if it’s what we have to do…at least it’s going in my breastmilk. It’s actually 22 calorie supplement but since it’s designed to go in water (to make formula) and I’ll be adding it to my breastmilk instead, it will actually be a 24 calorie supplement.
They, of course, told me not to take him out in places where there are big crowds until after cold/flu season is over. So no shopping, church or places like that till May probably. They also told me that we should still limit his holding as much as we can because he needs to grow. Babies grow the most when they are in deep REM sleep and he can’t get into REM when he is being passed from person to person or picked up and moved around. So she said to try to keep as much to the restrictions they had here about holding him as we can. I told her there’s no way I won’t be holding him more than what they let me here, but I’ll definitely be careful about it. She said if I’m laying down watching a movie I can hold him. But I can’t be talking to Jamie at the same time cause that will keep him from REM.
As we were talking she showed me his growth chart. The growth chart charts three different “percentages” – the ‘big’ kids, the ‘average’ kids and the ‘small kids’. We want Tate to at least be in the same percentile with the ‘average’ kids but so far he has always been below the ‘small’ kids. His line on the growth chart just intersected with the “small’ kids line this week so he’s finally catching up and we don’t want to hinder that. So we’ll have to be pretty strict still for awhile about visitors and holding so that he’ll stay healthy and keep gaining weight. She did mention that Tate didn’t have a big drop in weight at the beginning of his life like they usually see and she said that must be because I have “pretty good breastmilk”. As in nutrient rich. She said to keep up with all my prenatals and other vitamins and he should do fine. We also have to keep giving him a daily multi vitamin with iron once he comes home to keep his iron levels up (so he won’t become anemic.)
I talked with our new pediatrician – his nurse actually – and they will do his circumcision at his office and it’s their standard practice to wait at least two weeks (from when he gets out of the NICU) to do it. All I have to do is call and make his first appointment once we know when he’s coming home.
We did have once piece of possible bad news today. Tate failed his hearing test in his right ear. He passed both tests in the left but failed one of the tests in his right ear. At this point they said it’s nothing to be too concerned about because sometimes babies have fluid in their ears that makes them fail the test (Hudson failed his the first time they did them in the hospital) and because he’s a preemie his ears are very tiny so that could play a factor too. He is scheduled for a follow up test in one month so we’ll have that done and then go from there.
The nurse fed Tate his full bottle at his 6 pm feeding and Jamie fed him at both 9 pm and midnight and he took them both! The night nurses were debating on when he’ll be going home and when Jamie left our nurse told him good-bye cause they don’t think we’ll be here next week when she comes back to work! He only gained 11 grams today so it’s obvious that he’s burning a lot of extra calories and working really hard on taking his bottles. It will get better as he gets more used to the bottles but we’ll definitely have to be very careful in the next few weeks to make sure he is gaining properly. I think for my peace of mind I am going to have to get a scale for the house…
At midnight Tate decided to show them that he is really serious about this bottle thing so he went ahead and pulled his feeding tube out. Since he’s doing so good with his bottles the nurse decided not to put it back in! So hopefully it will stay out permanently. Since he did so good today with all his bottles, and because the nurses tonight seem to think we won’t be here next week, I am thinking it might be possible that we will room in this weekend! Maybe even Friday night. It will all depend on how he does tomorrow with his bottles.
To trump yesterday’s nurse telling me to bring his car seat in, today’s nurse had a table full of brochures for me, a video they make you watch before you can take baby home, a can of the fortifier we add to his milk and she sat down and talked to me about going home and what to do when we get there. I have been dreaming of this day and we are now so close!
The NP came by as he was finishing his noon bottle and since he did so well with it she raised his orders from 4-6 a day to 6-8 bottles a day. Last step! Speech said it would be a few days of 6 full bottles before they raised it but she wasn’t able to come today so I guess they made the decision without her. I am sure part of it has to do with how hard our insurance is pushing at this point to get him out of here… He now has to do 2 days in a row of 8 bottles and he’ll be able to go home (assuming he doesn’t lose weight either). It’s even possible that the second day of 8 could coincide with our rooming in. So we are talking a matter of a few days now assuming Tate cooperates with our plan!
I still have so much to do at home to get ready! Most important, I need to get bottles, nipples and a bassinet. Blankets and clothes are washed (although he still won’t fit in most of his clothes). I have to pick out a “coming home” outfit. Get some pacifiers. Figure out what to do with my breast pump. (It hasn’t been working very well so I rented one from the hospital but I have to return it the day he comes home. Otherwise they’ll charge it to my credit card. I’d love to keep it –but it’s a $2000 pump!) Tate’s room is nowhere near ready but it will be awhile before he’s sleeping in there anyways so that’s not a big rush. I’ll be home all the time now so I will be able to get some stuff done around the house…. But whether I’ll have time to do anything…we’ll see.
Tate took 45 mls for me at his 3 pm feeding. Still great but they just raised him from 46 to 48 mls at this feed so not a full bottle. But really good considering that was his 6th bottle in a row! I went to pump shortly after feeding him and when I came back the nurse said he had been fussing a little so she gave him the bottle and he took the last few mls. So that was 6 bottles in a row!
Tate is always waking up about 20 minutes before his assessment time and starting to fuss now. So he must be getting hungrier faster and is realizing it and letting us know. They said that will happen as he gets closer to full term. He’s 37.5 weeks gestation right now so he is considered “full term” even though 40 weeks is a complete gestation period.
I had lots of questions about getting him home so the NP came over to answer them this afternoon. My biggest question is how and when I should start working on breastfeeding with him again. She said now! So tomorrow I will put him to breast for one of his feedings and we’ll see how he does. We’ll give him 15 minutes and then weigh him and see what he took, then try to get him to take the rest from the bottle. She said at home to just start once a day with him and then always offer him a bottle after to make sure he gets enough. I’d prefer to have a scale so I can see what he’s actually getting so I am going to look into getting one. Then as he starts taking more and more I can increase the number of breastfeedings and decrease his bottles.
He still has to have bottles for awhile because we are going to still supplement with 24 calorie fortifier at home. They want us to supplement until he reaches 8 pounds. Here they are using human milk fortifier to supplement with but I can’t purchase that so we’ll have to use a formula brand supplement. Not real excited about having to use formula but if it’s what we have to do…at least it’s going in my breastmilk. It’s actually 22 calorie supplement but since it’s designed to go in water (to make formula) and I’ll be adding it to my breastmilk instead, it will actually be a 24 calorie supplement.
They, of course, told me not to take him out in places where there are big crowds until after cold/flu season is over. So no shopping, church or places like that till May probably. They also told me that we should still limit his holding as much as we can because he needs to grow. Babies grow the most when they are in deep REM sleep and he can’t get into REM when he is being passed from person to person or picked up and moved around. So she said to try to keep as much to the restrictions they had here about holding him as we can. I told her there’s no way I won’t be holding him more than what they let me here, but I’ll definitely be careful about it. She said if I’m laying down watching a movie I can hold him. But I can’t be talking to Jamie at the same time cause that will keep him from REM.
As we were talking she showed me his growth chart. The growth chart charts three different “percentages” – the ‘big’ kids, the ‘average’ kids and the ‘small kids’. We want Tate to at least be in the same percentile with the ‘average’ kids but so far he has always been below the ‘small’ kids. His line on the growth chart just intersected with the “small’ kids line this week so he’s finally catching up and we don’t want to hinder that. So we’ll have to be pretty strict still for awhile about visitors and holding so that he’ll stay healthy and keep gaining weight. She did mention that Tate didn’t have a big drop in weight at the beginning of his life like they usually see and she said that must be because I have “pretty good breastmilk”. As in nutrient rich. She said to keep up with all my prenatals and other vitamins and he should do fine. We also have to keep giving him a daily multi vitamin with iron once he comes home to keep his iron levels up (so he won’t become anemic.)
I talked with our new pediatrician – his nurse actually – and they will do his circumcision at his office and it’s their standard practice to wait at least two weeks (from when he gets out of the NICU) to do it. All I have to do is call and make his first appointment once we know when he’s coming home.
We did have once piece of possible bad news today. Tate failed his hearing test in his right ear. He passed both tests in the left but failed one of the tests in his right ear. At this point they said it’s nothing to be too concerned about because sometimes babies have fluid in their ears that makes them fail the test (Hudson failed his the first time they did them in the hospital) and because he’s a preemie his ears are very tiny so that could play a factor too. He is scheduled for a follow up test in one month so we’ll have that done and then go from there.
The nurse fed Tate his full bottle at his 6 pm feeding and Jamie fed him at both 9 pm and midnight and he took them both! The night nurses were debating on when he’ll be going home and when Jamie left our nurse told him good-bye cause they don’t think we’ll be here next week when she comes back to work! He only gained 11 grams today so it’s obvious that he’s burning a lot of extra calories and working really hard on taking his bottles. It will get better as he gets more used to the bottles but we’ll definitely have to be very careful in the next few weeks to make sure he is gaining properly. I think for my peace of mind I am going to have to get a scale for the house…
At midnight Tate decided to show them that he is really serious about this bottle thing so he went ahead and pulled his feeding tube out. Since he’s doing so good with his bottles the nurse decided not to put it back in! So hopefully it will stay out permanently. Since he did so good today with all his bottles, and because the nurses tonight seem to think we won’t be here next week, I am thinking it might be possible that we will room in this weekend! Maybe even Friday night. It will all depend on how he does tomorrow with his bottles.
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