Bottlefeeding

Since I've talked so much about the bottlefeeding I thought I'd show you how it's done. Tate is doing SO much better now with his eating. He rarely chokes anymore (although he did while he was filming so I stuck that in so you could get a sense of how scary that is - and this wasn't as bad as some of them. He's up to 85 mls now. It is taking him about 12 minutes to finish a bottle. Pretty good considering we started out at around 30 mls and he had 30 minutes to finish it...and rarely finished them. So far we haven't seen him trying to pace himself (breathe while he's sucking) so we are still pacing him - although I now let him go about 5-6 sucks before sitting him back up to breathe. So he's doing better. You'll see that towards the end he gets pretty tired and his breathing gets raspier. Plus you can really see him do his "catch up breathing" when his body shakes with each breath.

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11 weeks

Tate is 11 weeks old today. Two weeks, three days adjusted age. He has changed a lot this last week. He’s started being awake more often, for longer periods of time. In addition to looking at the blinds and lights, he’s started watching our faces. I have even heard a few little “coo” sounds from him. And I just might have gotten a tiny bit of a smile out of him this evening.


Tate quickly learned that when he cries someone comes and picks him up. So now he cries louder. And louder. He rarely cried in the NICU. Maybe he just had to reach his due date first. But when he figured it out, he figured it out! Hudson hates it when he cries. He covers his ears and says “Tate’s crying. He must be hungry.” Although the other day instead of saying he was hungry he did say “he must need me”.

He’s holding his head up a little more and we’ve started doing some tummy time too. So far he likes it better than Hudson ever did. Tate’s eyes are still a gorgeous slate color. Halfway between blue and gray. I’m hoping they’ll stay that way but I’m guessing they probably won’t.

Tate has been home from the NICU for 24 days. It’s weird cause it almost seems like that whole thing never happened. As soon as we got home and adjusted to being here we’ve kind of forgotten everything we went through. It feels like we just had a baby and brought him home. It’s kind of nice to be able to “forget” all of that and put it behind us. Now we’re just a little family of four – figuring out our new life and enjoying our time together.

I think Tate is starting to do better with breastfeeding. Instead of offering him a bottle right away after he nurses I’ve started waiting to see when he gets fussy again. At first it was pretty much immediately, or at least within 5 minutes, but the last 2 days he’s gone back to sleep for about an hour before acting hungry again. So either I’m wearing him out cause I’m letting him nurse a little longer or he’s getting more milk. Not sure which. Since he should be close to 8 pounds now I’m going to try to add another nursing session in during the day and see how he does. But, to be honest, it’s a little annoying trying to add the nursing sessions in with his bottles. We have him on a nice schedule and then I nurse him and it throws the schedule off, which in turn throws my pumping off. Which is hard enough to keep up with as it is. So I’m struggling through figuring that all out. It would be nice to get him up to where he was only nursing at night at least. Then we wouldn’t have to mess with bottles when we’re half asleep, walking around like zombies. But until he’s actually taking in enough there’s no point in trying it. Otherwise I’ll be up nursing every hour…

Tate’s taking his bottles like a pro. He’s up to 80 mls now! It’s pretty rare for him to not finish a bottle anymore and he doesn’t choke much anymore either. He doesn’t need the chin and cheek support as much as he used to, although we still have to pace him. They said one day it will just kick in and he’ll start pacing himself. But we haven’t seen any sign of that yet, and we’re too scared of choking to push it too much. But it’s going to be hard to keep feeding him like we do as he gets bigger, so I hope he figures it out sometime soon.

Jamie goes back to his regular hours at the clinic tomorrow. I’m a little nervous about that. It will be my first full day alone (except for his lunch break) with both boys. Hudson hasn’t taken a nap the last 2 days. So adding his screaming and crying for an hour and a half in with Tate starting to being awake more has been frustrating. But we’ll figure it out.

We’re in the middle of a blizzard here, but since we never leave the house anyway it’s not a big deal. But it’s been nice today to look out at the snow and hear the wind howling and know I have an excuse to not go anywhere!

the simple things

Yesterday I cleaned out my fridge. Not my favorite thing to do, but way overdue to be done. Yuck. As I was cleaning I realized just how happy my clean fridge makes me. Not the cleaning part itself, but that sense of satisfaction when it’s done. Plus the happy feeling I get every time I open the fridge and see clean shelves, fresh food, and organization (Yes, I organize the food in my fridge.).

Even though it will only last a few days before some leftovers get pushed to the back and start to rot, something sticky gets all over the shelf and Tate’s breastmilk leaks all over the place, for those few days I’m a happy woman when I open my regrigerator door. It made me realize that sometimes it is just the simplest things that make us happy.




Like having 2 beautiful, healthy little boys to love:

Happy.

For Hudson, it’s even simpler: some unusual January sunshine, the hose and a little mud…..

Happy little man.


For Tate, even simpler – momma's arms and his paci –

happy boy.

What makes you happy today?



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audiology

Tate had his follow up appointment with the audiologist Wednesday since he didn’t pass his hearing test in his right ear in the NICU. Unfortunately, Tate failed this second test as well. His left ear has passed the test both times so it’s only the right side that is causing concern.


For the first 6 weeks of his life, until he was able to lift his head, Tate only laid on his right ear. The ear itself was always curled up under his head. As he started moving his head from side to side that got better, but the ear is still a little “deformed” from laying on it so much. It looks different than his left side but I think it’s because the right side curls up and doesn’t lay flat. His pediatrician said it could still form more cartilage and start lying flatter but it might not. (I actually tried taping it down the other day, but the tape didn’t stick very long.) So I’ve always been a little concerned about that ear, especially after he didn’t pass the hearing test in it. He still prefers to always have the right side of his head down when he sleeps and has a limited range of motion to that side as well, which is something we are going to start in looking at things to look a certain direction, he just prefers to have his head turned that way. So unless I physically turn it to the left, he always lays on the right.

The test that he failed, otoacoustic emission (OAE), he has to be very quiet and still for. Tate was asleep but he was still grunting and breathing loud, so she was never able to complete the test. (She did his left side first and he was still sound asleep, but by the time she got to the right ear he was stirring around.) She was also having a hard time keeping the probe in his ear and she kept commenting that he has a very small, narrow ear canal. Since she was having so much trouble running the OAE she decided to run a different test instead. This test is called a tympanogram and it measures how much the ear drum is moving. As she started the test she said “what we want to see here is a peak…and his is totally flat.” Not what we wanted to hear.

It could still just be that he has fluid in his ear, or congestion, that is not allowing his ear drum to move, which in turn, is causing him to fail the OAE test. At this point we are waiting 6 more weeks and then will take him back to do the tests again. Hopefully in 6 weeks his ears will have grown and if there is fluid or congestion, that will drain or clear up and he will pass the test with no problems. If he doesn’t pass the test, the next step will be to do an auditory brainstem response test (ABR). In this test they hook up electrodes on his head and headphones on his ears. Then they test his brains’ response to the sounds to see if (or what) he’s hearing.

I started googling all this stuff as soon as I got home and reading about the tests made me remember that Tate had passed a different hearing test in both ears and then had failed the OAE in his right ear while in the NICU. I went digging through his discharge papers but the only thing I could find was something called a Mini BAER test. I googled this and every article I found was about dog hearing tests. Still haven’t figured that out. So I just called the audiologist back and asked her. She looked it up and said they had also done an ABR screening on Tate and he had passed in both ears. She then said “what that says to me is that it probably is just fluid since he passed the ABR.”. Made me feel better. She said if it is just fluid, the typical treatment for that is to put a tube in his ear, which they don’t do till he’s around 1 year old, and by then it’s possible the fluid won’t be an issue anymore. But she did say the ABR screening they did in the NICU was just a screening, not the full blown test. The actual test would have more tones and pitches so it’s possible there are some tones and pitches he isn’t hearing, which would cause him to fail the OAE test, but still pass the ABR screening. So it’s all really just wait (pray) and see what happens in 6 weeks.

cautiously optimistic

That's how I'm kind of feeling today.  Hudson is definitely on the mend.  He's outside right now playing in the sunshine.  We've started letting him eat a little more variety of foods today as well.  Only concern with him at this point is that he hasn't had a bm since the nasty, painful one Tuesday afternoon.  We're worried what the next one will be like.

Tate, on the other hand, we just can't decide.  Thankfully, he hasn't gotten any worse than he was 2 nights ago, but he's still dealing with a lot of stomach stuff.  His tummy is just rumbling and he's in some pain.  His temperature got up to 99.6 today - that's the highest it's been.  We haven't taken him in to the doctor yet. We called and spoke to the nurse yesterday and she said not to bring him in unless the temp got to be over 100 or he wasn't eating well.  We did, per her instructions, start giving him half breastmilk/half pedialyte in his bottles.  That is to replace what he was losing with the diarrhea and also because the pedialyte is easier to digest, so it would be gentler on his upset tummy.  But she said to only do it for a day so we are weaning him off of it now - using less in each bottle.  And his tummy seems more upset now than it was this morning...Since it digests faster, he's been eating more often.  And he has not  been sleeping well.  He's probably only slept maybe 2 hours today total - and at least half of that has been in my arms. 

Jamie and I seem to have kept this one at bay (knock on wood).  Hopefully there aren't any more germs lurking in our house.  Don't know how there could be with all the clorox and hand sanitizer we have used!  Jamie has done at least 15 loads of laundry this week - between washing blankets, towels, clothes that have been thrown up on and all of Tate's laundry.  That's got to be more laundry than he's done in the whole 10.5 years we have been married! 

We kept Hudson downstairs and Tate in his room and one of us was with each of them.  Jamie and I would switch off after half a day or so.  I find it interesting that it seemed like Hudson would always get sick within 5 minutes of Jamie taking over for me.  So he got thrown up (and pooped) on a lot more than I did this time around. I usually had Tate at night and Jamie slept downstairs with Hudson.  A few nights ago we switched and Jamie took Tate.  He didn't like it cause he had to get up every few hours but I didn't like it either cause I ended up not holding (and hardly seeing) Tate for almost 18 hours straight.  I thought he looked bigger once I got to hold him again!  

Why us?

Is this ever going to end?  Now it's Tate we're worried about.  So far it's not a full blown anything, but he's starting to show some signs.  Please, God, no.  Tate didn't sleep well this afternoon and has had watery - more than usual- stools.  His stomach has gurgled all afternoon too.  The highest temp he's had has been 99.4 - but I've gotten 2 normal ones since then...he's still urinating fine (and all over me everytime I change him!) and is actually eating more (up to 70 mls today) and more often this afternoon.  So we don't know for sure.  The eating and urinating are good things.  The watery and more frequent stools is not, but it's hard to tell with a newborn...So I'm settling in for a long night of probably holding him all night -or at least checking on him a lot more often- just in case.  He has been crying a lot more - but that seems to be because he's hungrier than usual.  The food calms him down anyways.  But occasionally he gives out what sounds like a pain scream.  I thought he was going to vomit a little bit ago.  He gagged but after I sat him up and took his paci out and patted his back, he burped.  So maybe that's all it was.  Maybe I am just making way too much of every little thing.  But can you blame me after what we've been through?  We will wait and see. 

Thankfully, Hudson is doing much better this evening.  He started drinking and urinating yesterday after the suppository we gave him (Now, that's an experience I hope we don't have to do it again.  We've given him 4-5 now and it's awful each time.).  So we didn't have to take him to the ER.  In fact, he was begging for food yesterday evening and we wouldn't let him eat much.  Today he did great till about 4 pm, and then started complaining about his stomach again.  This time it was coming out the other end again and it was painful.  But he finally did it.  So I'm hoping that was the last of his bug. 

Funny story:  This afternoon my mom came over to help me with Hudson.  She stayed downstairs with him all afternoon while I was up with Tate most of the time.  (We have pretty much kept Hudson quarantined downstairs and Tate in isolation in his room.)  Hudson was asking Gigi for something to eat...
Hudson: "can I have cheerios?"
Gigi: "I'll ask your mom what you can have to eat."
Hudson: "If she says toast or water we have to trick her."
He's definitely feeling better!

I am ready for all this to be over.  We've gone through at least 4 rolls of paper towels, 3 bottles of antibacterial handsoap, 2 tubes of Clorox wipes and lots of hand sanitizer.  You just have to see our hands if you want proof.  We have washed them raw.  They were bad while Tate was in the NICU from washing our hands all the time there but this is a lot worse.  Hand lotion helps, but since "lotion is for chicks", Jamie's are pretty bad.  Hand sanitizer just burns really bad at this point.
  

Thankfully I seem to have fought it off - but Jamie's not felt the greatest today.  If he gets worse it will make things even more interesting around here.  In the midst of all of this we had two other crazy things happen on Friday night.  I was giving Hudosn his bath and when I went to turn the water off the faucet handle snapped and broke off - with the water still running.  Jamie ended up having toturn the hot water off so that it was just trickling into the tub.  So we went all night without hot water.  Only issue with tha was washing our hands was really cold and we had to warm up the water in the microwave to use to warm up Tate's bottles.  Wasn't so bad.  Then Saturday they had to turn the water completely off for awhile to work on it.  (Really bad when you have a sick kid and are as obsessed as I am with washing your hands...)But then, of course, it turned out the part we needed to fix it had to be ordered and won't be in till next Tuesday...but they were able to fix it for now so that we have running water - and hot water- again.

About an hour after that happened, I had Tate in the bassinet beside our bed.  Jamie was downstairs with Hudson.  I had the lights off and was pumping and had the laptop on my lap.  Tate started fussing and next thing I hear a crash.  His bassinet broke!  I'm fumbling around getting the pump off, throwing the laptop off, turning the lights on.  Tate's not crying anymore so I don't know what that means...The bassinet had come off the stand on one end and that end was down on the ground while the other end was still up in the stand.  Tate's head was on the end towards the ground.  But he was just lying there looking around.  I think it shocked him.  I picked him up and laid him on the bed ot check him out.  He never made a sound, his eyes were huge and his lips were in a big 'O'.  But other than a little scared, he was fine.  So we aren't using the bassinet anymore and Tate has moved into his crib in his room.  A little earlier than I had planned.  I'd still rather have him beside me so I can check on him easier at night, but I'm not putting him back in that bassinet!

So that's where we are at right now.  Thankfully Tate has been asleep for almost 2 hours straight now.  That's the most since early this afternoon.  Praying he sleeps well, eats well and we're worrying about nothing.

ugh

That’s how our second week has gone. Not as good as the first week by far. But thankfully not because of Tate – he’s still doing good.


This is definitely the sickest Hudson has ever been in his life. It started Thursday morning and it’s still going today. He was better on Saturday – no fever, no throwing up – so we thought it was over. I deep cleaned and sanitized the entire house. Then he started throwing up again Sunday afternoon and hasn’t’ stopped. At this point he can’t even keep a sip of water down. We just got back from the doctor, he’s sleeping right now. If he doesn’t start doing better in the next few hours with the meds he got, we have to take him to the ER tonight. Hopefully they can just give him IV fluids there, but he might end up being admitted. This is not what we need right now.

Please continue to pray for both of my little men. That Hudson will start doing better ASAP and that Tate will not get this yucky stuff.