Tate slept well the first night home. I set my alarm for every 3 hours to get up and feed him. He was wide awake at each feeding. That makes it so much easier to feed him! Especially helpful since we are half asleep. He is very squeaky and grunty. After the first feeding at midnight Jamie switched sides of the bed with me (Tate’s bassinet was closest to his side.). I think the grunting was interrupting his sleep. I must admit it wakes me up quite a bit too. I still am really surprised at how much noise he makes. We couldn’t hear half of it in the NICU. He is starting to cry a little more as well. Mostly just when we are changing his diaper and just waking him up to eat. He’d prefer to sleep but we have to make sure he eats!
The doctors and nurses all told us to let him sleep as much as possible, in his bed, and not hold him too much. But I feel so guilty for just leaving him in his bed. I just want to hold him all the time. It feels wrong to be doing stuff around the house instead of just sitting and holding him. But I know it’s best for him. I hope we are doing okay with it and he’s still gaining weight. We aren’t holding him for long periods of time, but he’s still being held a lot more than at the NICU. He’s sleeping in our room, but we carry him into his room to change his diaper. Sometimes I carry him into the kitchen to get his bottle. And back and forth. That’s a lot more than he’s used to since he could never go more than the 5 feet his monitor cords would allow. It’s a little nerve racking not being able to weigh him daily. (I didn’t have any luck finding a place to rent a scale.) I am surprised though that I don’t really miss the monitors. I think the fact that he was on them for so long and rarely had issues gives me more confidence now that he isn’t on them. I am actually not as worried as I was when Hudson was a baby. But don’t get me wrong – I still go in and check on him constantly. Just not as much as I did with Hudson. With Hudson I just never left his side (or he never left mine would be more accurate!).
I was definitely more nervous the first day Jamie went back to work after Hudson was born than I was today. He went ahead and worked this morning since he’s still on just a part time schedule. The morning went pretty fast, although I didn’t get anything done. I spent all morning trying to organize the bottles and pumping paraphernalia in the kitchen. And things were still strung all across the kitchen counter when Jamie got home. I still am not happy with it, but we’ll figure out what works best as we go along.
Tate’s first appointment with the pediatrician is Wednesday morning. We haven’t met this doctor before so it will be our first chance to meet him. I am assuming it will basically be an introduction to him, weighing Tate and then discussion of our game plan for how often he needs to be seen, when to do his circumcision, etc.
We had skipped two days of breastfeeding so I didn’t want to skip anymore. I tried the SNS (which the lactation consultant recommended) but it was a mess. Mostly just had milk coming out of the tube all over both of us. So today wasn’t a great success, but we’ll keep trying. I’m not sure I’ll keep up the SNS though unless Jamie is here to help with it.
Our biggest concern was getting him to take his full bottle feedings and so far he has taken at least 55 mls at each feeding. We offer him 60 mls but there’s always some left in the bottom that you just can’t get to come out. Today we actually gave him 20 extra mls about an hour after his feeding cause he was still wide awake and acting hungry! He still is not pacing himself at all so we have to do that for him. So still nerve racking and he has choked once or twice. We never asked the doctors when he would start pacing himself and be able to take a bottle like normal. He’s been eating bottles for about 4 weeks now and he’s come a long way from where we started, but still has a ways to go before he’s eating like a “normal” baby.
Hudson is a great big brother. We put his step stool next to the changing table. Every diaper change so far he has been right there next to us. Observing and “helping”. We gave Tate a bath tonight. I thought Hudson would be really interested in that, and he was until he found the little bottles of baby soap and lotion from the hospital. Those and the washcloth were more interesting than the bath itself. (If you listen really close in the video – at the very end when Hudson is trying to squeeze open the bottle of lotion – he’s pushing on the lid so hard he farts. It was hilarious.)
Every time he hears Tate cry or squeak he says “Mommy, did you hear that? Tate made a noise like this (imitates sound). I’ll go check on him.” Then he’ll run into our room and peak into the bassinet and run back out and say “he’s just sleeping.” He’s already “read” him a book and he likes to climb up on the rails of the crib and look in at Tate when I lay him down in the crib. So far he isn’t able to climb in with him so he’s pretty safe. So far. Hudson makes me nervous when I realize I haven’t seen him for a few minutes cause I’m sure I’ll find him doing something to Tate but he’s been really good and gentle. He’s held him twice now and always kisses him on the head. Sweet big brother!
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