Friday, November 19, 2010

Day 5, Thursday, Nov. 18th

I knew I absolutely had to get out of bed today.  I went back to taking the painkillers every 4 hours and that seems to have helped because although I am still dizzy when I first get up, I'm not passing out or getting tunnel vision like I had been yesterday.  Plus the doctor decided to push me along by removing my catheter first thing in the morning.  Now I had to get out of bed!  

I am pumping every 3 hours to get my milk to come in and will continue to do that until Tate is able to nurse.  I had lots of colustrum the first night (really good stuff for the baby- high nutritional value) the first night after the c-section but after that was gone I just have to wait for my milk to come in.  A little frustrating to pump and not produce anything but I know it's normal for it to take a few days.  I'm starting to get a little bit of milk though so that's encouraging.  I absolutely want to breastfeed Tate (Hudson nursed till he was 21 months and I plan on doing the same with Tate) but that is still a ways down the road so for now I will pump every 2-3 hours and they give him the breastmilk through his feeding tube.  In a week or two he'll hopefully be able to bottlefeed but the NICU nurse told me today that actual nursing will be last because that can be too stimulating for them.

By lunch I had been able to get up to the bathroom a few times and to the NICU once (in a wheelchair).  We were able to hold Tate again for one of our 2 times each day and that's when we got the video of him that I posted earlier.  It was amazing to see his little eyes pop open as soon as he heard Jamie's voice.  And he responded to my voice as well.  His left eye seems to be easier for him to open than his right so it's always open first but if we talk to him long enough he'll eventually get them both open and look at us.  I am not sure how much he can actually see at this point, since newborns can't see very far and I don't know if preemies have even worse eyesight or not but he is definitely looking at us.  I also noticed that he seems to respond to the monitors and alerts that go off in the NICU.  Occasionally when one goes off he'll startle a little or his eyes will pop open.  So those are all good things to see him doing.  At this point they haven't tested his eyesight or hearing or anything like that, but it was encouraging to me to notice him responding already.

In the afternoon I was feeling well enough to take a shower and the dizziness was pretty much gone so they removed my IV for me too.  It felt wonderful to get the hospital gown off and put on some of my own clothes, wash my hair, scrub all the tape residue from IV's, blood pricks and shots off my arms and I took my bandage off my incision.  That was the first time I saw it and I about passed out just looking at it.  I can't believe I have staples in my belly.  Gross, disgusting, painful.
 
I was able to go in and see Tate several times throughout the day.  We are only allowed to hold him twice a day so the other times we just stop in and look at him and talk to him a little bit through the incubator.  If we go during assessment times (every 3 hours) we can watch him eat, get his temp taken, and diaper changed.  We like to try to go at these times because all the rest of the time he is under the UV lights and has the mask over his face to protect his eyes.  Late last night his IV came out of his head so they moved it to his foot.  I like that much better!  I got to change his diaper twice today.  Like any little boy, he peed all over the place the first time I changed him!  

We have had a wonderful NICU nurse, Nicole, these first 3 nights that we have really liked.  She's really good about telling us everything she is doing to him, what test results came back and what's going on with him.  The others have all been fine but we have really liked her.  So we went back to hold him again in the evening after her shift had started.  

Tate's blood work has always came back negative for any infections (as did mine) so they decided today that he didn't have to have any more IV antibiotics.  He lost 2 oz initially (totally normal for any infant) but today he had gained 1 oz back!  Because he is doing so well eating they are increasing the amount he  gets every 12 hours.  So they started giving him 3 ml, every 3 hours and he's now up to 5 ml, every 3 hours.  Then if he tolerates that (digests it fine, doesn't spit up, have reflex, etc.) they'll increase it in 12 hours to 6 ml.  He did spit up once last night but other than that he's digesting it all great and not having any problems.  His bilirubin levels were back down to 5 (the highest they have been so far was 6.7).  They want them to be close to zero and anything over 5 they treat with the UV lights.  Even though he's back down to 5 Nicole thought they'd keep him under the lights for about another week to get them down as low as possible.  Tate doesn't like having the mask on and he wiggles it off his eyes and down around his mouth all the time.  Today they also moved his feeding tube from his mouth to his nose.  It will stay in easier there but it's also good news because they were leaving it in his mouth in case they had to hook up oxygen through his nose but since his breathing has been so good they don't think he'll need any oxygen support.   

They have "mother" rooms here that I am allowed to stay in 24 hours a day once I am released from the hospital.  Dr. Jensen was in this afternoon and said I would go home tomorrow.  I am absolutely in no hurry to go home since Tate is here but I know I can't stay forever.  After we left the NICU Nicole gave us a tour of those rooms and got me a code for the doors.  There are 3 rooms with a bed in them, then a community bathroom, kitchen area and living room with a TV.  I just really wish they were "parent" rooms instead of just for mothers.  Jamie isn't allowed to go into them at all and it would just be nicer if the 2 of us could stay somewhere together but at least there's somewhere for me.  Jamie said he'll just sleep in the waiting room or just sit by Tate all night if he has too.  My other concern about the mother rooms is they are located directly next to the Senior Behavioral Health Unit.  There's a big sign on the door that says "Elopement Risk: do not let anyone out these doors" or something like that.  So I'm not sure I want to sleep in there all by myself. :)  

I felt, for the first time, like we really bonded this evening with Tate.  He was awake for awhile and looking at us and it just finally felt like things were "normal".  Our new normal, anyways.  So I was definitely on an emotional high when we got back to our room after spending an hour with him.   But of course those emotions lead to the others when I start thinking about leaving, and figuring out a schedule for coming back and how often we should be here.  Still haven't figured out much more about it - I guess we'll just figure it out a day at a time.  I won't be able to drive for 2 weeks so someone will have to bring me up here all the time anyways so that makes it even more complicated.  They are saying I'll go home tomorrow (Friday) and I 'm just not ready for that.  I was really hoping I could stay till Saturday, although one more day isn't going to make much difference.  I still have to leave without him whichever day it is.  

The sign that is on his incubator.

Without his IV in his forehead, feeding tube in his nose.  His nose is red from rubbing from his UV mask.

Family picture (minus Hudson) :(


Proud Daddy!


Tate's "room"


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